Page 97 of Devil's Dilemma

I’m carrying a baby inside me. It has only been a week, yet it seems so long ago that Pyro and I were so happy to see our son on the screen. To know he was alive and healthy. I’d even thought I’d felt him moving, though I’ve not had that feeling again and had probably been mistaken.

My baby doesn’t deserve to have a sperm donor like Skull.

“Hon, I need to get downstairs and see about getting dinner going. You going to be okay on your own? I can get Tiffany to come up and keep you company if you want.”

But I don’t want anyone else to know how foolish I’ve been. Oh, I know she’ll already have heard, the rumour mill will be going full force. Everyone must be talking about what went on in that basement. Rosa’s been good and kind, and hasn’t let her pity or criticism show. But I know what everyone must be thinking, why hadn’t I suspected Skull wasn’t what he seemed?

“I’ll be fine.” Belatedly I dismiss her offer of company. “I’m worn out. I’d like to be alone.”

“Hon, yes, you must be exhausted. You get some rest. I’ll come up and see you later.”

I give a final small nod. She goes.

Rest? My body is tired, my mind though, it won’t stop racing. There’s a loop in my head replaying every moment from the time I first saw Skull, to that fateful morning he’d left. Little things come back to me, like how he’d wanted me to get close to Vi. I shudder, he was making me spy for him, and I hadn’t had the slightest suspicion. I feel dirty that he ever laid his hands on me.

So dirty, filthy.

I get to my feet, grab some clean clothes and a towel, and go to one of the communal bathrooms. I lock the door, turn the water hot, then get in and start scrubbing. I raise the temperature and clean myself all over, then again and again, trying to rub the memory of his touch from my skin, but it’s not working. The water grows cooler then goes cold, but still I haven’t removed all his filth, so I wash myself again.

Suddenly the door I know I locked is opened.

Pyro’s standing there. He moves forward, his arm snaking around me to turn off the water, then picks up the towel and holds it out.

“Is she okay?” a masculine voice I don’t recognise calls.

“She will be,” Pyro replies with certainty. “Come on, darlin’.”

I’m standing naked, the cold water having caused goosebumps to rise all over my skin. I’m shivering, and I hadn’t realised I’d become so cold. I let him place the towel around my shoulders unable to even feel embarrassed that this is the first time he’s seen me without clothes.

“I can’t get clean,” I tell him, through chattering teeth. “I could have betrayed the club without knowing or meaning to. I’ve got filth all over me and I can’t wash it off.”

“You’re clean,” he replies tersely, even as he’s lifting me in his arms. Before going out through the door he glances down to make sure I’m covered, moving a corner of the towel to conceal an inch of bared skin. “It’s him who’s covered in shit, not you. I won’t have you taking any of this on yourself. If we didn’t suspect him, Mel, how could we expect you to?”

We’re back in the room, and he places me carefully on the bed and then closes the door. He comes over, lying down behind me, and pulling me to him.

“That’s what people will be thinking. What did I know? Was I in it with him? Was I trying to get info on the club? Was I betraying you? I lived with him, how could I not know?”

“No one will be thinking anything of the sort,” he states, firmly. “Prospects do their time for a reason, to earn our trust. Skull was clearly in it for the long haul. He knew he’d have to start at the bottom and make his way up. He took all the shit, and a severe beating. We didn’t see anything to make us suspicious. We trusted him. The whole club trusted him, Mel. If all of us couldn’t see what was in front of our noses, why the fuck would we expect you to?”

“Then you must have doubts about me. Maybe I’ve been fooling you as well.”

“Might as well have doubts about Judge and Wills. They’ve only patched in recently. Christ, Mel, we’d tie ourselves up in knots if we let one bad apple influence our thoughts about everyone else. Truth be told, there were always some questions about the prospect we’d known as Runt. Not everyone took to him. But he took a beating and came back, was patched in and took the name Skull. That’s when we stopped asking questions. He had us fooled, Mel. In hindsight, we’ll rethink shit and see there were signs we didn’t think to note. But you? Nah. I’ve been with you every step of the way since Skull disappeared, and every reaction you’ve had has been genuine.” He pauses, then resumes, “Might as well take the blame on ourselves. You saw Skull had the trust of the club, so didn’t look further than the surface he showed to you. Yeah, if we had no doubts, why should his old lady?”

Had their faith in him coloured my views? I hadn’t looked deeper as I hadn’t expected there’d be anything to find.

I bark a mirthless laugh. Me, a woman who’d snagged herself a younger, and very fit man.

“Mel?”

“I’ve been so foolish, Ro. I believed what I wanted to. I gave Skull what he wanted dressed up in a bow.”

“Can’t argue, Mel. Skull chose you for a reason, but part of it must have been he wanted you in bed. Any man would. If you weren’t claimed, I’d be fighting off a number of my brothers. You’re a fuckin’ attractive woman, Mel, and that’s something you mustn’t forget.”

Forget? I don’t remember knowing it in the first place. But all I say is, “I’m not claimed.”Surely the club won’t still expect me to be tied to a traitor?I want no one to ever refer to me as Skull’s old lady again.

He turns me to face him, and his hand brushes the wet hair back from my face. “Mel, I’m an open book. You’re one hundred percent genuine. And I’m going to work to prove to you that so am I. This might not be what you want to hear right now, but Skull’s out of the picture and I’m free to claim you.”

If I’m no longer tied to Skull, I’m free to be with Pyro. But I can’t.I don’t want to be claimed by anyone, do I?Not now, not knowing what happened before.

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