Page 30 of Amy's Santa

So I took it further, making it obvious what I felt. Gradually he started pulling away, our easy relationship changed for good. Gone were our times alone together, I never went out with him again. He was reserved, no more joking or fooling around, him tickling me or pulling my hair. But still I tried.

One night, Heart sent me down to the clubhouse to grab a couple of bottles of beer. I’d been behind the bar, directly opposite the pool table when I’d seen what he was doing to Silky. Well, it wasn’t PG.

In fact, to me, it was downright disgusting.Drew’s fucking?He should have been waiting for me.

I’d stormed out in a flood of tears, my dreams shattered into so many pieces they could never be put back together again.

Prior to that Drew had been pulling away, and I couldn’t understand why, redoubling my efforts to maintain our connection. But from the moment I saw him with the whore our relationship was totally broken. I couldn’t bear the sight of him, even a glimpse of him had hurt. It had felt too much like a betrayal.

It hadn’t just been a child’s crush, I’d been devastated. I’d lost my best friend. I knew I couldn’t stay without my heart being broken, so I’d left for Phoenix as soon as I could. There, I found men who didn’t say no. And I got over the man who one day I’d thought would be mine forever.

Suddenly the man himself turns. “Want to go for a ride?”

My eyes widen. “On your bike?”

He shrugs, as if it’s of no importance. “Yeah.”

I’m stunned. These men seem to have a rule, they don’t take women on the back of their bike unless they’re family or they’re going to make them their old lady. But I shouldn’t read anything into it. In his eyes, I’m like the little sister he never had.

“Xander will be back soon,” I remind him. “A bit rude for me to go and leave him alone.”

A sound, suspiciously like a growl, comes from his throat. “We won’t be gone long. Thought some wind therapy might be just what you need.”

Xander wants me, I know that. As a submissive, I balance out the Dom in him perfectly. He’s been so supportive and good, doing everything for me since the incident with Flint. Suddenly I ask myself a question,Do I love him?

A voice inside says it’s enough to enjoy the thought of serving him. It will settle that uneasiness inside me.

Can Xander really give me what I want from life? Sure, he can give me orgasms, but he hadn’t even said it was permanent. What had he called it? An arrangement. It sounds cold when I’m faced with Drew’s warmth.

Damn, I shouldn’t have come back. Should have stayed away. There’s no way Drew’s changed his mind. Nothing’s different in that there’s still a vast age gap between us, more than that, he’s now got far too much responsibility to want an old lady. If I hadn’t come home, I’d have been more than happy with Xander, now speaking to Drew is resurrecting dreams I should never have had.

“Come on. You know you want to.”

Glancing up, I see Drew’s mouth quirking, his hand pushing back his hair. In that instant he looks more like the teenager who first took me out, than the president of an outlaw MC.

Biting my lip I wonder whether I should be doing this. But the day is fine, albeit with a nip in the air, and while going pillion on a motorcycle is far from new to me—I’ve been on the back of Heart and Marc’s bikes since my feet were able to reach the foot pegs—the thought of riding behind Drew holds a certain attraction.To feel my arms around him, just this once?It’s a chance I can’t give up.

“Sorry I took so…” Xander’s words trail off.

So intent on wondering whether I should or shouldn’t, I didn’t even hear the door opening behind me. Now I’m blushing like a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar, and I’m not even sure why.

“…long,” he finishes his sentence. He walks forward, politely holding out his hand. “Wizard. We haven’t really met as yet.”

“No.” Wiz draws himself up, and even I can see the persona of the prez as his palm meets with Xander’s. “We were at opposite ends of the table last night.” Completely unapologetic, and showing no guilt at all, he continues, “Amy and I have always been close. I wanted to check how she was doing.”

“She’s doing fine,” Xander answers for me.

I just turn to him, raising an eyebrow. Not what I’d call it. Better than three months ago, and sure, he’s helping me get to a better place, but I’m still far from that destination.

“I also offered to take her for a ride. Isn’t much shit that a bit of wind in your hair can’t blow away. Amy hasn’t been on a bike for some time, and I know how much she’d like to get out.”

I can tell Xander is torn. If he protests, he’s denying me a pleasure that, as Drew has said, I’ve loved from when I was a child. I wonder if he’s got suspicions about me and Drew? If he has, he can shut them down fast. Drew’s made it clear he doesn’t want me, pointedly so when I was in my late teens.

“Wizard, do you mind if I have a word with Amy first?”

Now it’s Drew put on the spot. He’s unable to say that he does. His face remains unreadable, but there’s a flare in his eyes. A sign I’ve seen before which demonstrates there’s something he doesn’t like.

But all he answers is, “Sure.” Then confidently adds, “I’ll be waiting down by the bike.”

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