Page 43 of Amy's Santa

Joker certainly does. “’Cause he only comes once a year.”

On cue, everyone groans.

Joker doesn’t care, but continues, “How does Santa stay free of the clap?”

I notice Sophie covering Hilda’s ears, and the young teenager shrugging her off. I also see Mouse glaring at his daughters Maria and Tanya, while the expression on the face of Yiska, his son and eldest child, leaves no one in any doubt the fourteen-year-old knows exactly what Joker’s talking about.

“’Cause he wraps his package before shoving it down the chimney.” Joker snorts as he gives the punchline.

There are a few chuckles at that one. I grin, and looking over, see Lady shaking his head at the antics of his man. He slaps a hand over his partner’s mouth, but Joker pushes it away.

“A whore was lying in bed waiting for Santa to come. Then he got dressed and went back up the chimney.”

There are a few grunts but mostly groans at that one.

Then Joker’s eyes find mine. “Hey, Amy? Is your name Jingle Bells?”

My brow creases as I hold myself ready for the answer.

“’Cause you look ready to go all the way.” Joker’s head drops to the table and his shoulders shake at his own brand of humour.

“Lady, how the fuck do you put up with him?” Blade shouts out.

Lady winks at their daughter, Maya, and then pulls Joker in for a long, deep kiss eliciting cries ofput him downbefore he answers, “Because I love him.”

Awws go around. Drew takes it as his cue and his arm comes around me, then his lips find my mouth.

“Christ.” Dad’s eyes have opened wide. “You’re going to be fuckin’ my daughter.”

Marc slaps his arm, while Drew answers calmly, “You can bet on that.”

My face must resemble a beetroot.

Suddenly another voice sounds, “Who says oh, oh, oh?” Then he spoils it by immediately giving us the answer, “Santa walking backwards.”

This time there’s genuine laughter, and Wraith slaps Tommy on the back. Tommy starts beaming. His eyes catch mine and he grins even wider. I haven’t seen Tommy since I arrived home.

As they’re sitting opposite, I hear Wraith as he asks, “Tommy, why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?”

He gives Tommy time, then when Tommy’s shoulders rise and fall, then looks at him wide-eyed with his head shaking, continues, “Because he had nobody to go with.”

It takes him a moment then Tommy slaps the table and gives a belly laugh. Still chuckling, he turns to the joke teller. “Good one, VP.”

Seems the child/man can’t understand the changes as he gives Wraith his old rank. But no one here gives a damn.

Everyone is here tonight, old ladies and children, and there’s even a table for the whores who are fully dressed for the occasion. I don’t think anyone’s missing. Watching my family, my stomach full of good food, I lean back in my chair and feel myself relax. Then a thought hits me. If Xander was here, I’d be on edge, wondering what he made of the people around me. I don’t think he’d have fit in. Oh, he’d have been polite, but as the drinks flow and people become rowdier, I think he’d have been uncomfortable.

Suddenly, the door to the clubhouse opens, and a few hands go to their guns. Then there’s a shocked silence, followed by roars of greeting.

“What the fuck?” Drew gets to his feet, nods at Drummer, and the prez and ex-prez go to greet the visitors.

“Sorry, we’re late.” Paladin nods at the baby he’s carrying. “This one wouldn’t stop fussing.”

“I didn’t fuss, Daddy,” a toddler calls out.

“I was good too, Dad,” the oldest boy says.

“Hank, you only behaved yourself because Santa was coming.” Pal rolls his eyes at his wife.

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