I pause on the veranda, Xander takes my hand. “Deep breath, Amy, that’s right. Take another one. Thisisgoing to be fine.”
I do as he suggests, sucking air deep down into my lungs then exhaling out, then, I do it again. Well before it’s the truth, I tell him, “I’m ready.”
He pushes the door open and stands back, allowing me to precede him inside.
“Showtime,”I repeat under my breath.
When I burst in, a forced grin firmly in place on my face, everyone turns. Knowing what’s expected I make straight for the Christmas tree. “Tell me you haven’t done it yet?” I sound like a needy child.
“Of course not,” Sophie, the old VP’s wife rushes forward and is the first to give me a hug. “That’s your job, Amy.”
“Amy, baby.” Up steps my dad, Heart. “Fuckin’ glad to see you. Thought you weren’t going to make it.”
“Sorry, Dad, but it was work. We couldn’t come until later today. I had a shift…”
“Well you’re here now.” He brushes away my excuses and beams as he kisses my forehead. I notice his age is showing, his once blond hair lightening and thinning at the temples, but he keeps it just as long as ever. His face might be creased, but it’s still the familiar one of my dad. His eyes go to the man standing behind me and narrow slightly, as Sophie interrupts.
“Can we get this done first, then you can visit together? The kids are impatient to see the tree finished.”
The kids, including Olivia, now the new VP Hawk’s old lady, are all in their late teens or early to mid-twenties now. Though they might be grown, they’re standing around eagerly, just as they do, and have done, every year since they could walk. I notice Zoey and Zane rolling their eyes, as if trying to exclude themselves from Sophie’s definition. I suspect we’ll all always stay kids in our parents’ eyes.
Heart laughs, putting his arm around my stepmother as she eases her way past the assembled bikers and steps up alongside him. She shrugs off his touch to hug me tightly.
“You’re home,” she states, while her eyes give me a mother’s appraisal. I smile brightly and genuinely when she adds, “So get on and do your job.”
Twenty-two years ago, Dad had disappeared from the club. He’d returned with Marc by his side, and a snow globe Christmas ornament. It had been the first year we’d ever had a Christmas tree in the clubhouse—that was down to Sophie bringing her British traditions home. Seeing Dad’s eyes glisten as normal on this occasion, I know there must be some significance in that ornament, but I’d never asked exactly what. Just that as a child it was me who placed it as the last decoration on that first ever Satan’s Devils Christmas tree. From then on, adding the final fixing had always been down to me.
As I have in years past, I take the ornament out of my father’s hands, and carefully place it front and centre. While everyone claps and cheers, the snow globe slowly turns in a breeze that I didn’t realise was blowing, and I turn to see who’s opened the door, but no one has entered. It must have been my imagination.
“Yeah! Happy Christmas, everyone!” Wizard, the prez, bellows out. “Welcome home, Amy, and welcome…?”
“Xander,” I introduce him. Though I suspect Wiz already knows exactly who he is. They wouldn’t let anyone on the compound without him being fully investigated first. “This is Wizard,” I clarify to the man who’s now by my side.
“The prez.” Xander shakes his hand.
“And you’re the heart surgeon.” Wiz looks impressed.
Xander’s not a man for boasting and simply dismisses his many years of training with a short, “It’s just a job, man.”
“Hey, big Sis.” Jacob and Isabel approach, and it starts a procession of people all wanting to hug and greet me. The men stand back to let the girls approach first. There’s Eliza, Hilda, Maya, and Hope, probably easier to say who’s missing, and that would be Slick’s family who live in Pueblo, Faith, her mother Ella, and Jayden. Slick had died a few years back.
After the kids, the old ladies approach, and then the men start to come over.
The tension which immediately assails me is relieved a little when Xander puts his hand to the middle of my back, and before they can complete their approach, clears his throat and addresses my dad.
“I understand there’s a family meal later, can we get our bags dropped off and have a little time to freshen up? It’s been a tiring day and a long journey.”
Thank you, God.Or, rather, Xander.
“Sure. We’ve given you a suite, Amy, as everyone else is staying up at the house. Thought you’d like some space to yourselves.”
That sounds great, a place where I can unwind and drop my act. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Come on, we’ll take you up.” My stepmother’s giving me a scrutiny I’m not sure I like, she might not be my blood mother who I can’t even remember, but she’s had an uncanny way of being able to read me since she came into my life when I was three—or was it four? Young enough, I barely recall a time she wasn’t there. At her visual examination I start to wonder whether coming back for Christmas might have been a mistake. If Dad gets one whiff of what’s bothering me, I know he’ll go off half-cocked.Half-cocked? Fully loaded more like.
I realise being the daughter of a Satan’s Devil carries its own complications. They’re all protective men, one sniff of trouble and they want to head it off.Am I that good an actress that I can fool everyone that nothing’s wrong?I have to be. I can’t let them know. No one would be able to understand what had happened, and I don’t need anyone else to point out that I’d brought it on myself.
It’s a mild winter evening with just a slight chill in the air when Xander walks beside me following Dad and Marc past the blocs, each housing pairs of suites occupied by single brothers.