Page 5 of Heart Mended

There’s room out front for me to back up and park against the kerb. Switching off my engine I pause before swinging my leg over the seat. Looking at the unimpressive building in front of me, posters and outlines of girls presented by way of neon lights show exactly what patrons will find when they enter. It had originally been proposed that I would take over management of Angels when Dart had transferred to San Diego, but I blew that, and in spectacular fashion. For a period of time after the loss of my wife, I’d have done anything to have left this life to join her. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tinker still hated me for what I’d done. At least the club had managed to persuade her to stay as one of our dancers. I suspect money may have changed hands.

I don’t want to go inside, being here brings everything back, that period of time when I was literally out of my mind and acting irrationally. The knowledge that grief had driven me doesn’t help to assuage my guilt. Now, happy with Marc and my new family, it’s hard to remember what had driven the man I’d been then, or how desperate I’d felt. Or how upset when, instead of killing me as I’d deserved, my brothers had sent me away. Banned from the club for six months, given space to get my head on straight. Despite all the odds, it had worked. Water under the bridge now, but when I’d returned to my senses, my feeling of shame had also come back. I’ve avoided anything to do with Angels ever since. I wouldn’t be here out of choice, were it not for the instruction from my prez.

Taking a fortifying lung full of air, I get off my Harley, pull back my shoulders and walk around to the rear entrance as the front doors will remain shut for a little while longer until we open for business. My route takes me past the spot where I’d committed my crime and I pause momentarily, now unable to believe the monster I’d become. Then, at last, I step inside.

“Heart.”

Wouldn’t you fucking know it? The first person I meet is Tinker. She makes good bank for the club and I’d blithely risked losing her by my actions. Two and a half years later, an apology still seems inadequate. I need to say something, but don’t know where to start.

“Hey, how are the babies? Twins, isn’t it?” Tink gently bumps her fist to my arm. “I bet they’re a handful. Boy and girl?”

Her friendly approach has got me caught me off guard.

“Yeah.” I confirm she’s got everything right. “Jacob and Isabel. Fifteen months old now and starting to get into all manner of shit.” My lips curve briefly in the way of a proud father then, rapidly, turn down as I frown. “Tink, I—”

She waves her hand quickly. “Nah, Heart. Don’t go there. No need, okay?” She steps closer, her hand touching my arm again, this time in a barely there caress. “You weren’t you then, Heart. You were a man so burdened by grief he didn’t know how to live with it.” Her understanding is overwhelming. Her forgiveness, welcome, but unexpected. I’m still reeling when she continues, “Now, you don’t normally honour us with a visit. Anything I can help you with, Heart?”

Still struggling to put the past back in the box where it belongs, her enquiry pulls me back to the present, reminding me what I’m here for.

“Yeah. Is Vida around?”

The smile slips off her face, her reaction reaffirming the reason for my presence.She knows something’s wrong.Maybe she’s even witnessed her dealing.

“She was in the dressing room last time I saw her. Want me to find her for you?”

“Please. Send her to the office?”

She nods and gives a resigned looks, she believesVida’s going to lose her job.Then she walks off to carry out the task she’s been assigned.

I’m glad that confrontation is over with, and that it had gone far better than I’d expected or deserved. While a painful discussion is still ahead of me, I’ve more lightness in my step when I make my way to the office, nodding at Philby, bouncer-come-doorman, who’s just getting ready to open up. He’s not stupid, and by his grim expression, he knows exactly why I’m here.

I’m not left waiting long. In fact, I’ve barely time to get my ass in the chair when the door bangs open. It’s been less than three years since I’ve seen Vida. Of course, people age all the time, but the bags under her eyes barely concealed with makeup, and the extra lines on her face are more pronounced than I’d expected. Up on the stage though, it’s not her face the audience will focus on. I might have a woman, but I haven’t totally handed my balls over, and I can appreciate her still fit and trim body well enough. The short flimsy robe she’s wearing doesn’t do much to hide her stripper costume.

As I’ve taken a moment to study her standing with her back to the door, she’s been watching me. Suddenly her mouth twists, and her words are snarled out.

“Well, look what the cat’s dragged in. Didn’t think you’d have the fucking nerve to show your face here again. Thought after all this time you’d got the message to never come back.”

Taken aback by her vehemence, I don’t answer. My silence appears to be taken as encouragement for her to continue her tirade.

“Should have had your fucking balls for what you did. What did your club do? Didn’t punish you, just sent you on a fucking vacation instead.”

Not bothering to point out it was no vacation, that’s something you’d normally enjoy, I point to the chair opposite.

“Sit, Vida.”

She considers my request as though wanting to refuse, but the Satan’s Devils own the strip club, and therefore any member is technically her boss. With a loud huff, she at last obeys, sinking her barely clad body into the seat, and folding her arms across her ample chest. There’s challenge in her gaze as she looks at me, but when my eyes meet hers, she’s the one who looks away first.

Deciding the direct approach is best, I get straight to the point.

“Why, Vida? Why are you dealing in the club? Why risk everything you’ve worked for?”

Her mouth opens. I get ready to refute the denial that surely is going to come instead, but her lips snap together again. Guess she thinks it’s best to stay dumb.

Sitting forward, I place my elbows on the desk and clasp my hands together to make a cradle for my chin.

“Five, six years, isn’t it, Vida, you’ve been working for us? You’re an asset to this club. Yeah, I’ve been sent to give you your marching orders. Yeah, I was an asshole the last time I was here, you’re right about that. My vacation you mentioned? Nah, wouldn’t describe it as that. A trip, time away to do some thinking. Not just to get my head straight, but to come back different than when I left. Different to before. I was given a chance, Vida. I took it.”

She leaps at my words.

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