Page 13 of Hawk's Cry

Marvel had got me from behind. If I’m not pissing blood for a week, it would surprise me.

There’s a deep, sickening ache in my groin. Thank fuck I was out of it when that was done. Someone must have kicked me in my junk.

Pain. Physical pain. I welcome it, relish it. It’s no more than I deserve.

“I think he’s coming around.” I hear a female voice. Is that Amy?

“Are you sure he’s going to be alright?” The anxious voice is that of my wife. Fuck. I don’t want her to worry. Could it hurt the baby?

“He’ll be in pain for a while, but he’ll be fine,” Amy reassures her. “Just keep your eye on him. He’s got some broken ribs, and I’m just a bit worried about his kidneys. You’ll have to take him to the hospital if the blood doesn’t ease.”

“What about the stitches in his face? Will they have to come out?”

I hear a female sigh. “Yeah, they will. Look, I’ll check if Wizard’s okay with me making a house call.”

Why will she have to check? Oh. I’m no longer a member of the club. Of course I can’t expect to be treated by the prez’s old lady. And where will we even fucking be?

I hadn’t thought that far ahead, just knew I had to get out. But I expected to have time and make plans. Surely they’re not just going to be throwing out me and my pregnant wife onto the street?

I suppose we could go to a hotel for a time. I’ve got some money saved; money put aside for the baby. We’ll have to dip into that.

I’ll have to find a job. Christ, what a mess. Right now, I can’t even sit myself up.

“Eli?”

I must have twitched or given some sign indicating I’m not unconscious anymore. Making an effort, I open my eyes. Or, half open one, the other must be swollen completely. But it’s enough to see my wife staring at me.

“Eli, you frightened me half to death. How are you feeling?”

Like I’ve been trampled by a herd of elephants. Which, actually, might not have been as painful. “I’m fine,” I lie. I try to smile reassuringly, but I’m sure all I achieve is a grimace. My ears still work, and I hear strange sounds around me. “What’s going on?”

“Prospects are packing up our stuff. We’re leaving as soon as they’re ready.”

“Leaving?” So soon?

“Yes. We’re going to Heart and Crystal’s old house. The club still owns it. At least we won’t be out on the streets, or not yet.” There’s more than a hint of censure in her voice. “We can stay there until we find our own place.”

When Heart’s first wife had been killed, Heart had never wanted to go back to the house they’d shared. The club actually owns it through a shell company, so it couldn’t be traced back to us. Over the years we’ve maintained it and kept it on, it being useful when we needed somewhere for someone to hide. But it’s not ‘we’ anymore. Something that’s going to be hard to remember. I don’t belong now. I’m my own man, just as I wanted.

My only responsibility from now on is my wife and child. I no longer have men depending on me.

My eyes have closed. I open them again, unfortunately in time to see Liv wiping tears from her eyes, and I have the thought that not all of them, or maybe any, are for me. I’m upending her life, changing everything and taking her away from the life that’s been all she’s known. I know it’s selfish of me, but I can’t see any other way out.

“Ha… Eli. Need you to get dressed.” It’s Rascal, and with the tone of voice he’s using he’s showing outright disrespect for his VP. I open my mouth—painfully—but then close it as it all comes back to me. I’m not VP anymore, and though he’s just a prospect, he is club. I’m not.

“Here, I’ll help.” Liv tries to put her arm around me as I attempt to sit up.

“For fuck’s sake, can you help her?” I call out. “She’s pregnant.”

“Should have fuckin’ thought of that.” Now it’s Nathan speaking insolently. Well I can’t blame him I suppose. He, Rascal and Butcher are working their asses off for the patch I’ve turned my back on.

Nevertheless, he does help me. He’s also gentler than I deserve, though as I sit up, unable to suppress my groaning, I can understand why. There doesn’t seem to be a part of me that’s not stitched, bandaged or black and blue. As for my balls… My uninjured hand cups them to try to get some relief, feeling they’re twice the size of normal.

When I find out which asshole did that… I’ll do nothing. Whoever it was wouldn’t give me the time of day, never mind the chance to take a swing at him.

Liv tosses me some sweatpants. I slide them on, grateful my legs at least support me as I go to stand showing there are no broken bones. When she picks up a suitcase that seems far too heavy for her, I realise I should be the one carrying that, but it’s all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. I try to give Nathan a grateful nod when he notices her plight and takes it himself.

In recent years, due to the numbers of houses which have been built here at the top, we’ve paved the track leading up from the bottom of the compound so trucks and cars can be driven up. Today I’m grateful for that, as I don’t have to shuffle too far before I’m sliding into the passenger seat of our car, and Liv gets into the driver’s seat. Behind us, I notice the prospects are getting into a truck.

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