Page 17 of Hawk's Cry

“Zane!” I throw myself at him as soon as the door’s opened, and he’s able to come in. I choke back the sob at seeing a friendly face.

“Olivia. How are you, babe?” He kisses me on the cheek and briefly hugs me.

“I’m good,” I lie brightly, hoping he doesn’t see through my untruth. Like when I talk to my mom, I hide my emotions and thoughts. It would be a betrayal for people to know how unhappy I am. I’ve got to make this work for my husband’s sake. However much I might want to, unless I leave Eli, I can’t return to my previous life. I’m not yet at a point where I don’t think my marriage will work.

“Brother,” Eli says warily.

Zane’s eyes meet those of his sibling, and dual expressions war for supremacy on his face. Anger and sorrow. Eventually he sighs. “Can I come in and talk?”

“Nothing to talk about,” Eli warns him. “My bridges are well and truly burned. Made my decision, and there’s no going back on that.”

Zane looks up and down his brother’s broken body and gives a sad jerk of his head. “Can kinda see that, Brother.”

“Come in. Sit down. Can I get you a beer?” I want to keep Zane here. Just seeing a friendly face has raised my spirits.

“Sure, babe. That would be great.” Zane takes a seat on one of the chairs, while Eli walks stiffly back to the couch. I bring in beers for both of them, and a can of soda for myself.

“Why are you here?” Eli’s shortness seems rude.

Zane ignores the sharpness and instead stares at his brother. “I’m not club, remember. I’ve no beef with you, Eli. But I’d like to know why.” He wipes a hand over his face. “I don’t understand. Fuck, nobody does. Why, Eli, why? All our lives joining the club was the only thing you ever wanted to do. You had no desire for anything else. You even tried to persuade me into the life. You lived and breathed the club. When I heard the news, I couldn’t believe it.”

Eli shrugs. “Did I really want it, Zane? Or was it Dad forcing me in that direction? You never had the same pressure, you were able to do what the fuck you liked. It was me Dad groomed to follow him.”

Zane shakes his head. “That’s not how I remember it. Dad treated us both the same. You fell in love with everything the club stood for. I was the one who preferred cages to bikes. I was the one who saw a life that didn’t involve patching into the club.”

“What would Dad have said if I hadn’t had prospected?”

Eli’s brother looks confused. “Way I remember it was you didn’t need any persuasion. You were always hanging around the club. Working with the bikes, rebuilding Dad and Mom’s classics. Truth be told, I felt a little left out. I didn’t have much in common with my family.”

Eli shrugs. “But you followed your dreams. Got a degree, a good job, and have joined SD Construction. You’re a partner at twenty-three. Life’s been fuckin’ good to you, Zane. You’ve not missed out.”

“And you have?” Zane looks incredulous. “Are you actually my brother, Eli, or has someone else taken your place?”

I’ve stayed out of the conversation, but I’ve been listening hard. Zane’s just echoing my own thoughts. Lately, Eli does seem to be someone else, someone I don’t know and will have to relearn all over again.

“Anyway,” Zane takes a drink from his bottle, then wipes his lips, “I’ve come with a message.” He waves his hand toward his injured brother. “Dad and Mom are lost, they don’t know what went wrong. They blame themselves and are upset. But they are also angry and confused. Neither know why you didn’t go to them. There may have been a different way of working this out other than the club leaving you half-dead.”

“I’m my own man,” Eli says. “I knew what I was getting myself in for, and it was the fastest way out. Dad would have tried to persuade me to change my mind, and I didn’t want to talk. My decision had been made. Sure, Throttle might have brought it up quicker than I expected and forced the issue, but though I’m hurting, I’d never take it back.”

“He didn’t even talk to me, Zane. I had no idea he wanted to leave the club.” I can’t keep quiet any longer.

“I knew you’d try and persuade me to stay.” Eli’s eyes come to me, and I notice they look cold. “You liked your life the way it was. You’d have used every argument in the book to stay on the compound. You might see it as being surrounded by family, but you, too, have been smothered, Liv. You, too, have been railroaded into a life you might not have chosen had you not been born the daughter of the VP.”

“Are you saying I was brainwashed?” I snap, annoyed. Does that include my marriage to him? I love Eli, always have.

Zane coughs as though reminding us he’s there. “Look, I’m here because Dad feels guilty. Not that you’ve left the club, but that when I was at college, he paid my tuition fees. He knows you might think you lost out. Truth is, had you chosen that direction, he’d have come up with the cash for you too. So he’s putting some dollars in your bank account as he knows it will take a while for you to heal and get back on your feet.”

Eli’s teeth grind together. “I don’t need his help. I can provide for my own wife and child.”

Zane looks at him incredulously. “Your fingers on your left hand are fuckin’ broken. You’ve got broken ribs and a broken nose. Christ knows how many other bruises. Not to mention you look like Frankenstein’s monster with those stitches on your face. How the fuck are you going to get a job to support your family? You can barely walk.”

“Your bedside manner’s a bit lacking,” Eli observes, his swollen face doing its best to smirk. “Doesn’t change facts. I don’t want Dad’s fuckin’ money.”

“I do,” I butt in. “I’m six months pregnant. I’m happy to try to get a job, but I’ve had an easy life. All I’m capable of being is a barista or something.” I’ve never had to work in my life. I always knew I was Eli’s, and it was enough to be his support. It’s not because I’m lazy, but college wasn’t for me. Being the old lady of the VP, I was a weak spot. Neither my dad nor Eli had wanted me to spend time off the compound, and I hadn’t taken much persuading. If Eli doesn’t take this financial help, it will be down to me to support us while he heals, and I’ve no idea how to start to do that. I’ve no work experience except knowing how to prepare meals for twenty or so people. Even if that got my foot in the door, what employer wants to take on a woman who in three months will be adding a kid into the mix?

“Listen to Olivia,” Zane urges. “She’s expecting your fuckin’ baby. Are you so little of a man now, you’re going to depend on her?”

But I can see Eli’s face is set into his stubborn look. I haven’t known him since I was a kid not to be able to read him well. His brother, too, recognises his closed-off expression. Zane finishes his beer, stands, then throws the gauntlet down.

---