Page 20 of Hawk's Cry

For once in my life, the needs of my cock take a back seat. “I’m worried about our boy, Sam. Something doesn’t seem right.”

“I know,” she tells me back. “What you said to Wizard, you’re right. He just wanted to get away and leave. He had no idea what to do next.”

“It’s not just him, is it, though?” I stroke my hand up and down her back. “It’s Olivia, who we both love like a daughter, and our grandchild. I’m worried as fuck about them all.”

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispers. “I want to go see him, but I don’t want to let you down. I know you’re still angry with him.”

“You’re still his mom, whatever he’s done, darlin’. If you want to go see him, you can.”

She huffs. “Be easier if you told me to stay away. I’m angry with him too. I’ve spoken to him, he tells me he needs space.”

“Perhaps we all do.” I run my fingers over her silky hair as I think aloud. “I’d give my eye teeth to know what’s going on in his head. What really made him walk away? Did it just build up? Was it my fault?”

“Not just yours, Drum. Mine too.”

“Why don’t you get Ollie to come here? At least we can find out how he’s doing.”

“Sophie doesn’t think she can handle coming here yet. Oh, Drummer.” Her face falls. “Olivia’s having a hard time. Sophie hears the longing in her voice and understands. She doesn’t want to come back to the club, see the house she was forced to leave, or see her friends she’s now apart from.”

“We’re still her family, Sam.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “I think I’ll leave her to approach us. Sophie’s offered to visit her or meet her in town, but Ollie always makes some excuse. But she talks on the phone to Sophie most days, and Sophie updates me. If Eli’s rebelling against things that we did, or his interpretation of them anyway, then maybe it’s best to give them both some distance to figure things out and where they both want to be, and how to live outside the club.”

“Space and time,” I agree. “May not be what we want, but it’s probably what they need.”

“Sophie and I are thinking of postponing our trip to New York.”

“That’s still a couple of months away, isn’t it?” I tilt my head to one side. “You’ve been planning this forever.” They have. They had to work hard to convince us to let them go alone. Sophie had always wanted to take in a Broadway show, and Sam was excited about that too. “Things may have settled by then.”

“Drum?” Her question starts with her biting her lip.

“What, darlin’?”

“What if he comes to realise he’s made a mistake? What if he wants to rejoin the MC?”

I harden my face and my heart. “No way back, Sam. No fuckin’ way. Nothing could be a good enough excuse.”

“I hate it,” she tells me.

I fucking hate it too.

I think that again when later that day, I make my way down to the clubhouse and into church. Was it really only last week when the vote was taken about Eli? When I’d sat around this table waiting for my son’s fate to be agreed? So much has changed in such a short time. Now, unless anyone disagrees, I’m going to be taking his seat.

Fucked up situation for certain. For a moment I stand, letting men file into the meeting room past me, my finger and thumb pressing into the bridge of my nose. I’d noticed my son growing quieter but put it down to friction within his marriage, and nothing for me to interfere in, unless he’d come to me. If I’d pushed him for answers then, would things have turned out differently? Would he still be here and not ostracised from his family?

My delay means I’m last to enter the room. As I take my seat at the end of the table beside Wraith, I take a second to watch the men, seeing them tossing glares toward the empty seat to Prez’s left. Wizard was right, they’ve been knocked off kilter by the loss of their second in command, and he’s correct to quickly fill the position. He’s also not wrong about me. If I was still prez, I’d jump at the chance to put an experienced man in that chair.

I’m ready to serve my club once again. Now all that remains is to check they still want me.

Wizard bangs the gavel. “I’m going to start with a proposal. I need a VP. Got a man in mind who’s agreed to take it temporarily.”

“Temporary?” Hound looks surprised. “You’re promoting someone who might not make the grade?”

Wizard barks a short laugh. “Nah. I’ll cut to the chase. We’ll take a vote if it’s needed, but I’m proposing Drummer steps up as VP.”

For a moment there’s a stunned silence. Then a chuckle from Peg. And, as he starts to slide under the table, Blade puts his head into his hands and says loudly, “Oh for fuck’s sake. Thought I’d gotten away from that man being able to order me about.”

I snort, and realising old habits die hard, find myself slapping him around the head.

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