Page 23 of Hawk's Cry

I breathe in deeply. “We were pushed together. Yes, I know we were genuine friends. But do you ever think what would have happened if there had been more of us around? More the same age?”

She frowns. “But there was. Amy was already there, then Tyler, remember him? Though, of course, he was older and wasn’t there long.”

“Amy was three years older than us. Noah, Jacob and Isabel, all younger.”

“You chose to play with me.” She bites her lip. “We were always inseparable. Then our feelings changed, or, they did for me. Are you saying they didn’t for you?”

“Of course they did.” I stand abruptly, starting to pace, knowing I’m fucking up this conversation and needing to restart it a different way. “You know how my father got his road name, Liv?”

“Everyone knows that.” She seems bemused that I’ve thrown his name into it. “Drummer banged everything in sight. Until he met Sam.”

For the first forty years of his life, he’d lived up to his handle. “Have you any idea how many women he must have fucked before he met Mom?” I snap the question at her.

“Enough to know he’s lucky he didn’t get an STD,” she throws back.

I lurch toward her, my good hand grasping the arm of the couch. Leaning my face down I spit out, “How many pussies has my cock been in, Liv?”

She pushes me away and stands. “One.” Her eyes flare. “One. Mine. Are you saying I’m not good enough? That you could do better than me?”

The words are wrenched out of me. “How the fuck do I know? There’s only ever been you and me. My first kiss. My first fuck. I’ll go to my fuckin’ grave not having anything to compare you against.”

“What more do you want? Don’t you come? Because I don’t know how else this got here.” Her hands go to her stomach. “Well, tell me? What are you missing? Someone who gives you head? Well, hey. That’s me. Just what more do you want? Someone who lets you try new things? Well, that’s me too as I remember. Doggy style, shit… Are there more positions you want to try?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know!” I turn it around on her. “You’ve only ever known me. What if there are better cocks out there? What if someone can do things you enjoy more? Don’t you ever want to find out and see?”

“No!” she screams at me. “I enjoy sex with you. And it’s not just sex. I love you, and that makes all the difference to me. We connect when we make love. It’s a completion of what we feel for each other.”

“It’s different for a man,” I tell her, coldly. Not actually knowing, but thinking it is. Another pussy would feel different. Tighter? Perhaps, but I can’t see how. We are a good fit. Another mouth might allow me to go deeper, a whore might not mind me choking her with my cock. But while I’m with Liv, I’ll never find out.

“This is why you left the club?” she starts, incredulously. “You knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with fucking someone else while we were there.”

I bark a laugh. “You think I couldn’t have gotten away with it? The whores would keep their mouths shut if they knew what was good for them, and my brothers were loyal to me. If I’d strayed, you’d never have known.”

“Have you?” Her eyes widen with suspicion.

“Isn’t this what I’m telling you?” I huff. “No, I have not.”

“But you want to find out,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears.

I hate seeing the hurt I’ve put there, but I don’t know how to stop. “Yes. No. I don’t fuckin’ know,” I cry out. “Doesn’t it bother you, Liv? That you’ve only known me.”

She moves jerkily across the room as though her body’s being controlled like a puppet on strings. “Well I never thought it did.”

When she picks up her car keys, I feel a pang go through me. She’s going to leave. Or, maybe, just run back to the compound and tell my mom what an ass I am.

“Where are you going?” I call out as she opens the door.

She spins, her eyes throwing sparks at me. “Out on the fuckin’ prowl. It’s what you want, isn’t it?”

The door slams behind her before I can react. The car engine starts, roars, then the noise recedes.

Fuck.

Chapter Nine

Olivia…

I had to get out of there before I said something I would regret, or he said something he’d be unable to take back.

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