Page 35 of Hawk's Cry

“Er, what do you think I should do with this?”

“Give it to Olivia?”

Wraith’s eyes go wide.

“For fuck’s sake, I’ll take it inside in a moment.” Wizard takes the bag. “Can’t see what you’re getting all hot and bothered about.”

I remember that Amy used to frequent BDSM clubs and wonder about her and Prez’s relationship behind closed doors. Wizard seemed completely laid back about the contents in that bag. Mind you, he hasn’t got skin in this game, that’s not his son or daughter in there.

Wiz tries to get me discussing some club business while Wraith stands with folded arms staring at the door which has actually stayed closed for a while. Basically, we’re passing time until Amy comes out and delivers her verdict.

I’m starting to feel more and more anxious, as there’s nothing but quiet from inside, but eventually the door opens, and the prez’s old lady steps out.

“Okay,” she smiles at Wizard, then looks at me then Wraith with a serious expression, “I did a rotation on a psych ward and attended some lectures. I’m no expert, but I’ve spoken to Olivia at depth. In the old days it would have been named a nervous or mental breakdown, but as a medical term, it hasn’t been used for a long time, but we’ve still really nothing to replace it with. Basically, it’s when someone has difficulty functioning in the everyday world.”

“Is he going to be okay?” I ask.

At the same time Wraith enquires, “Is there any risk to Olivia, could he harm her?”

“I think so,” she responds to me. “But he needs help to do so. And no, Wraith, I’m pretty certain he’s not going to harm Olivia other than worry the hell out of her.”

“How did you come to that diagnosis?” Wizard asks, sounding interested. “Has this just happened today, or was his leaving the compound part of it?”

She starts to tick things off her fingers. “First, the cause and how to address it will need to be explored, but Liv says he’s been irrationally irritable and definitely depressed. Mood swings for certain, and she’s not quite sure what triggers them. Second, he doesn’t want to do anything. She says if he’s trying to get a job, it’s only a half-hearted attempt at best. As if he’s scared of being in situations he can’t control. He’s forgetful and not sleeping well. He’s also not eating as much as he did. Certainly a lack of appetite is another symptom. Liv said he seems intolerant of her being with him at times, and,” she pauses and looks at me, then Wraith, “he’s lost interest in sex. That started months back, and Olivia first put it down to his being worried about harming the baby. But everything adds up. This has been building for months, and it’s just all come to a head.”

“So what do we do?”

Amy smiles again at her husband. “Really, he needs to be on a psych ward, but I can’t convince Liv that he’s unpredictable right now and could be a danger to himself. Whatever she thinks, he will need careful watching. Suicide is all too common when people reach this point. I think he’ll need antidepressants, at least temporarily. We need to prevent another episode like today. Cognitive behaviour therapy will be essential. This has gone far beyond any ‘pull yourself together’ chat.”

“I don’t want him in a fuckin’ hospital,” I tell her firmly.

“I don’t want him alone here with Olivia. She’s seven and a half months pregnant. Even if he doesn’t hurt her, she couldn’t prevent his hurting himself.” Wraith is as adamant as I am myself.

Wizard’s staring at us lazily, then shakes his head. “Not leaving them here,” he tells us as if he wonders why we ever thought we would. “He’s coming home.”

Both mine and Wraith’s eyes look at him sharply. It’s me who puts it into words. “You bring him back to the compound without explanation, he’s likely to get a bullet through his head from the first brother who sees him. I’ll stay here. Hell, when Sam gets back, she won’t be able to stay away. That’s her baby hurting.” Damn bad timing. Sam and Sophie are away on their break in New York at the moment.

The door is open, and I realise Olivia has been standing there, half keeping an eye on Eli, and half listening to us. She looks like she’s trying to catch up with the conversation. “Wizard, thank you. But we don’t know why he’s in this state.” She glances toward Wraith. “Dad, I’d like nothing better than to come back, but what if the compound’s the worst place he could be? What if it doesn’t help, but hinders any recovery?”

“Olivia’s got a point.” Amy sides with Eli’s wife. “This isn’t something which has blown up overnight. Until we know where Eli’s head is at, we don’t know what would help him best.”

Wraith looks at me and raises his chin. “We’ll both stay.”

“Dad, no.” Olivia’s looking dismayed. “Firstly, we haven’t got room. We’ve only got two proper-sized rooms and—”

“My old bedroom.” Amy smiles. “Not that I remember much about it. Is it still painted pink?”

Wizard’s arm goes around her, and he kisses the top of her head. A couple of years before Mouse had brought him and his sister, Mariana, to the compound, Amy’s mom, Crystal, had died, and Heart had never returned to this house. Amy’s room had been untouched for years.

“I think someone must have redecorated at some point.” Olivia’s frowning. “It’s not pink anymore. But it doesn’t matter what colour it is, it’s not got a bed in there now, just an old couch. Apart from that, I don’t want Eli overwhelmed by too many people being here.”

“You are not staying alone with him. You can’t watch him twenty-four hours a day.” Wraith’s not backing down. “What if he gets violent?”

Olivia’s eyes widen. “He’d never hurt me.”

“I’d have said I’d never find him crying in the gutter,” I tell her. “He’s unwell, Olivia. Who knows what he could do? He could harm himself, or you.” Summoning up more words to impress the risk on her, I add, “If he was determined to harm himself, how could you stop him? He’s much stronger than you.”

This time, I’ve gotten through to her.

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