Page 50 of Hawk's Cry

“I only eavesdropped because you wouldn’t speak to me.” I take a couple of deep breaths, reminding myself he’s ill and I must resist the urge to snap at him.

“Put them back in the drawers.” He’s been watching what I’m doing. “We’re not going anywhere.”

Drummer had appeared last night and told me the best news ever. Eli and I could go home. Back to the house we designed together, back among the people we know. Eli’s reaction to the good news hadn’t been what I had expected. Instead of being pleased, he’d said no.

“Come on, Eli. You must know this is the right thing. You won’t even have to do anything. The prospects are coming to move the furniture—”

“I’m staying here,” he insists, and the look he sends me is challenging.

I’m starting to prefer it when he ignored me completely. I roll my eyes and bite my tongue.

My back hurts, the baby kept kicking all through the night before, waking me every time I dozed. I’m tired, irritable, and finding it hard to hold on to my patience. I know all my thoughts should be for my husband and the horrors in his head he’s carrying around, but it’s the worst possible time. I’m worried about having this baby as well as about him, and I’m worrying about worrying. What if my tension harms the baby?

“Well I’m going home,” I tell him.

He regards me for a moment, then sighs. “It’s for the best, Liv. I can’t be what you need. I can’t see I’m ever going to feel right again. You go, I’ll stay here. It’s the right thing for everyone.”

I open my mouth to respond, when a deep male voice interrupts, “Brother. Get up.” Something’s taken out of the pile of clothing I’m holding and thrown onto the bed. “Put those jeans on.”

“Get out of here, Hound!” Eli yells.

“Not happening,” another voice rasps. It’s Throttle. “You’ve got places to go.”

“I’m not moving back to the compound.”

“Nope. Drummer’s got the appointment you refused to go to yesterday moved to today. Hound and I are coming with you.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t give a fuckin’ damn,” Throttle snaps. “But I doubt you really want to lie here feeling low. We’re going to get you fuckin’ sorted, Brother. And that starts with you making an effort to help yourself.”

“Get dressed,” Hound commands again, in a voice he must have picked up in the Marines. It almost makes me want to check to see if I’m wearing enough clothes.

Eli stares, and just when I’m certain he’ll tell them to fuck off again, he huffs, and reaches for the jeans on the bed.

Throttle turns me so he can rifle through the bundles of clothes in my arms, picks out a t-shirt and it joins the pants Eli’s starting to pull on. None of us offer him privacy. He’s my husband, and well, they’re men.

Hound bends and picks up Eli’s boots, and I come to my senses, doing my part and finding him some socks.

Eli staggers slightly when he gets to his feet. He touches his head. “I don’t think I can ride. It’s the medication—”

“We’ve brought a cage,” Hound replies.

“You really coming with me?”

“Just to the hospital. Up to you whether you want us inside. Drummer’s meeting us there just in case you want him with you.” Throttle turns to me. “Sam and your mom and dad are staying with you. Unless…?”

I shake my head, knowing Eli wouldn’t want me to go. If I insist, he could refuse, and hell, if it gets him on the road to helping himself, I won’t do anything to stop that. If he’s going to talk to his therapist, he should be able to do so openly, even if what he says would upset me, his wife.

As Eli’s frogmarched out of the house, Sam comes up beside me. “He’s going to be fine,” she says firmly. “He’ll get through this.”

I’m not sure whether she’s trying to convince me or herself. I can only hope his therapy session sets him on the right path. I’m not foolish enough to think he’ll be miraculously cured, and know he will have some way to go. Once out the other side, will he be a changed man? Or will our marriage be over, as he won’t want me as his wife?

Wraith opens the door, and two prospects step inside. It’s Nathan and Rascal. I give them a nod, then turn to Mom who’s come up beside Sam.

“Do you think this is right?”

“What are you talking about?” Dad overhears and comes over.

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