Page 82 of Hawk's Cry

“What is it, Sophie?” I enquire of the woman who’s making herself at home, brewing coffee with the equipment I last saw in Heart’s old house. It looks like the prospects have been busy while we’ve been asleep.

And still are, it would seem. As I stand there, our sofa appears, carried in by Butcher and Nathan.

“Olivia’s got an appointment with the doctor at three.” Sophie offers the reason why she disturbed our sleep.

“What’s the time now?”

“One-thirty. We let you sleep in as long as we could, but she needs to get herself and the baby checked out, Eli.”

I know that she does. “Okay, I’ll go wake her. Is that for me?” I point to the cup on the counter.

“Her,” Sophie corrects with a grin. “It’s decaf.” She laughs at the expression of disgust on my face. “I’ll have some of the real stuff ready for you when you’re dressed. Unless you’d prefer tea?”

My look of horror probably indicates I’d prefer Liv’s decaffeinated coffee to that.

Liv’s not at all happy at being disturbed and made to get out of bed, but deep down I think she needs the reassurance that the baby’s alright, as after a few initial grumbles, she makes no more fuss. She gets showered and dressed while I change the bedclothes, finding clean ones in the boxes the prospects had packed and brought back from the Tucson house.

There is part of me which feels a failure returning home with my tail between my legs, having accomplished nothing while I’d been away from the compound. But I just have to suck up any feelings of inadequacy. Here is where Liv needs to be. Here with her family and a place where we can safely raise our kids. While it hadn’t just been down to me, no one had really appreciated, you could take Satan’s Devils off the compound and dress them as civilians, but the past couldn’t so easily be escaped. While I don’t know what the future holds, I’m never going to be putting Liv at risk again.

We go to the hospital and get our minds put at ease. Everything looks fine with the baby, and the drug Archangel gave her shouldn’t have caused any harm at this stage. I take the opportunity to ask the doctor whether sex is okay, realising it’s a bit late if the answer is no. But his response was to be guided by Liv. It won’t hurt the baby. If she wants to be fucked, I’m okay to fuck her. Well, he might not have worded it in precisely those terms, but that had been my translation.

When we get back to the compound, Wizard is waiting for me.

Liv’s too intent on updating her mom and mine on what the doctor had to say, that she barely notices me leaving.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Eli…

It’s on no one but me that I’m not a member of the club anymore. Do I regret it? No, I do not. I was right to walk away when I knew I couldn’t contribute as I should anymore. Do I wish things had turned out differently? Fuck yes, and never more so than when I walk into the storage room and see Archangel close to taking his last breath.

It should have been me who’d been questioning him, making him hurt, but by not being a member, my chance had been taken away.

Archangel had taken my woman and potentially caused harm to her and my child. If I hadn’t stopped him, he might even have killed her. But any secrets he’d given up rather than take to the grave had been for Satan’s Devils’ ears and not for those of a civilian like me.

Wizard has brought me here as they’ve offered me a concession, that I be the one to fire the bullet which would dispatch him to meet Satan.

Throttle’s done his work well, too well it would seem. I have to look twice to be certain Archangel’s still breathing. Whatever I could do couldn’t make the man hurt anymore. It’s symbolic, me killing him, I don’t even think he’s aware who’s taken the shot.

It’s done. It’s over. The Satan’s Devils have one less enemy.

There’s no cheering, no celebration. A few sighs of relief, and the sound of hands meeting leather as backs get slapped.

Wizard cups his hands around his mouth and whistles loudly. “Time for church,” he calls out when he’s got everyone’s attention.

I feel a pang of there being a hole deep inside of me that will forever be empty as I see the members walking out. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I step out the door and turn in the direction of my house.

Suddenly I’m being dragged back by my collar.

“What the—?”

“You’re coming too. We got things to discuss,” Wizard growls into my ear.

For a second I’m bewildered, then I realise maybe they want to lay down some ground rules.

It’s fairly obvious they don’t object to Liv and I coming back to live on the compound, else they wouldn’t have moved our furniture back in. But maybe it’s only going to be temporary, time to sort ourselves out, for me to find a job and for Liv to give birth. Fear churns inside as I’m only too well aware of the dangers that lurk when ex-Devils try to live in the citizen world.

Or maybe they’ll want to explain the boundaries they’ll be setting about us living here, and what I can and can’t do with the club. It is hard not to act just as I used to. I was a Devil for seven years, six as a patched member. Perhaps they want to remind me I won’t have prospects at my beck and call anymore.

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