Page 39 of Being Lost

“Yeah. We’re trying to figure out why, been knocking it around for a while. We’ve come up with something. Now it could be grasping at straws, but we could do with your help to check it out.”

“Anything you need, Brother.”

I admire the way Demon doesn’t hesitate without even knowing what task he’ll be assigned. It’s this loyalty and brotherhood that made me happy Beth had found the right man. One for all and all for one never had greater meaning than when it comes to the men in this MC. That it extends beyond chapters is heartwarming.

“Patsy’s got a safe deposit box, goes back to when she first married Phil Foster. Normal shit kept in it, but twenty years back, Phil put something inside, and she doesn’t know what. It’s a long shot, Brother, but it’s possible it’s still there. Beth’s got a key to that safe deposit box, and I was wondering whether you could get Ink to go with her and see if it’s holding a secret? We’re pretty certain Phil Foster had an insurance policy, and we’re not talking house or car. Only thing that makes sense is that Alder wants any evidence of it buried and gone. Patsy’s in danger if he thinks she’s got it.”

“Fuck. You sure?”

“Nah, Demon, I’m not. Could be barking completely up the wrong tree here, but it’s the only fuckin’ lead I got. Alder’s after Patsy, and we’ve got no fucking idea why.”

“Any risk Alder knows Patsy’s with you?”

“No. We stopped the person following her home, and as far as we know, got Patsy and Dan away clean without anyone being any the wiser. But with the network Alder’s got, it was only going to be a matter of time before they got hold of her.”

Demon’s quiet for a moment, then he says, “Be careful, you hear? Lost, I’m well aware you’re taking care of what’s ours. You need brothers to head down your way, I’m happy to boost your numbers.”

Lost smiles, and nods at the phone, then uses words the other man can hear. “Thanks, Demon. I hope we can keep trouble away from our door, but if we can’t, I may take you up on that offer.”

“I’ll be in touch when we’ve opened the safe deposit box. Patsy, you there?”

“Yes, Demon.” I clear my throat. “I’m here.”

“This shit with Beth…” he pauses. “Look, I understand you need to speak to her, but you calling her out of the blue on an unsecure phone, well, that can’t happen again.”

It’s at this point I want to slide under the table. I shrink back into my chair, and my voice squeaks when I reply, “I know, Demon. I’m sorry, I—”

“I can appreciate how fuckin’ hard this is on you. Her too.” He pauses for a second. “Lost’s phone is encrypted, mine too. The clubhouse is clean if Token does as good a job as Cad. We’ll make arrangements for the two of you to talk, okay?”

My eyes prick with tears, both at his understanding, and the promise I’ll be able to talk to Beth soon. I almost miss what he asks next.

“We find anything in that safe deposit box, I’ll get Cad to check it out. You okay with that, Patsy? You got anything personal in there?”

“I’m an open book, Demon. There’s nothing secret about me at all.”

“Okay. I think we’re done here, Lost. I’ll get it sorted from our end. Beth’s not here today, Patsy, but I’ll get her to call you tomorrow, okay?”

I feel like fist pumping the air, but refrain. The smile on my face must say it all, as Lost grins my way. Dan’s mouth is curved, and he reaches across and squeezes my hand.I’m going to be able to speak to Beth again.I feel my heart beating faster in anticipation.

When I’d left Colorado I was supposed to abide by the rules, and I had every intention of doing so. I had known it was going to be hard, but not even my wildest imagination could have prepared me for the pain of being separated from my oldest child.

Beth’s in her late twenties, and it was probably well past time she should have left home and struck out on her own. That she stayed with me as long as she had wasn’t because either of us were incapable, but because we’d had a relationship where we were friends as much as anything else.

I suppose I remained protective of her. Both my children are tall, throwbacks to someone far back in my family as both Phil and I were average height. For Dan it had been an advantage, but a girl shooting up to be taller than all the other kids in her class had made her stand out. Children are cruel and would pick on anyone who was different. At school, she’d been bullied.

I’d been helpless. The school hadn’t understood, Beth stood head and shoulders above the other students, including many of the boys, so surely, she could look after herself? Beth hasn’t got violent tendencies, but in any event, it wasn’t abuse in a physical form that she received. It proved impossible to protect her from the snide comments and jeers. They say words don’t hurt, they’re wrong. The wounds they inflict might be invisible, but they do lasting damage all the same. She’d already been an introverted socially awkward child, now she was ostracised because she was different.

By the time she’d gone to college, her life had changed. Her friends had matured, and she’d grown from an unhappy girl into a confident young woman. But the worry that’s sat with a mom for years can’t simply be turned off. I was happy she’d stayed under my wing.

When Beth met Ink, I had no idea at the start how long it would last. Beth, I knew, had feelings for him, but whether he reciprocated those I wasn’t too sure. The drastic turn of events caused by Dan had shown that Ink really cared—enough so that he was prepared to sacrifice his freedom and go to jail instead of her. Here was a man who I could entrust with my daughter. If it hadn’t been for him, for Mel, her best friend and married to a biker herself, for the whole of the Satan’s Devils club back in Pueblo, I could never have walked away.

Ink wanted Beth for just who she was. I could see how much he loved her, how he was building a new life with her, coincidentally buying her family home. She’d have the security I used to give her, but as is right, given to her now by her man. In time, they’d have a family.

At this point in her life and in mine, we could finally part. My job as a supportive mother was done. I had nothing to worry about leaving her on her own; her future was mapped out. With only such a brief time to consider matters, I hastily made up my mind, Dan was the one who needed me now.

I didn’t realise I’d feel as though I’d been torn in half. I thought I knew, but I hadn’t accepted quite how much I’d miss her.

Of course, children move away all the time, but there’s always a connection via phone calls or visits. In my case, even the briefest of contact was forbidden. It was as if one of us had died with no funeral, no mourning.

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