Page 61 of Being Lost

Token nods toward his prez. “Why don’t you leave this with me? I’ll get a program running to sort through all the combinations. I’ll give it to Cad as well. Could be something, maybe not, but it’s worth investigating for sure.”

Chapter Twenty

Lost

“You did good there, Patsy,” I tell her as we leave Token to work his magic. “Hey, you okay?”

She’s leaning her back against the wall of the hallway and her eyes have closed. She takes a deep breath before opening them and focusing on me once more. “I don’t know.” Her voice breaks. “Four months ago, I was living a normal life. My son, yeah, he was a problem, but I thought, in time, he’d turn his life around. He just had to get away from his monster of a father…” She breaks off and puts her palms against her face. “Beth and I were jogging along well enough together, thinking nothing would ever change.” She offers a half-smile. “I was anxious for Beth when she met Ink. Not because he was a biker, well, I suppose it did have something to do with that, but the lifestyle, you know? Beth’s an all-in type of girl though she tried to pretend she could do casual, but I knew her better than that. If I’d had any expectations, it would have been I’d have ended up nursing Beth’s broken heart.”

I notice Patsy’s staring at the pictures of past and present members of the club on the opposite wall. Some are serious, most are comical poses. Salem and Pennywise both have their middle fingers up, and Kink’s tongue is stuck out. There are lighter patches on the nicotine stained wall, where nine photos had to be removed. Though we’d tried to space out those remaining as the new ones were added, you can still see the evidence of our shadowy past. The men might have gone, but still evidence of them lingers. For the first time in days, I wonder what Shark had been doing in San Diego. With everything else, he’s been pushed out of my mind, but there’s been no further sightings so maybe I can lock him back into my mental box once again.

“Beth didn’t end up disappointed,” I remind her, not knowing where she’s going with this. “Ink was serious.”

She nods. “Thank God. I couldn’t have left Beth without knowing she was loved and cared for. But, Lost? How did I get here? I thought I was coming with Dan for his sake. But it’s not him who’s in danger, it’s me. As for this tunnel stuff and freaking coded messages? Christ, I feel like I’m living in some kind of movie.”

I hold out my hand, she takes it. Leading her into the clubroom, I notice how time has moved on. The space is filling up with men coming back from their day jobs. I realise I haven’t eaten all day.

“Want some food?”

At my question, she purses her lips and thinks. “I ought to, I suppose. I kind of forgot to feel hungry with everything else that’s been going on.”

“Come on.” I lead the way into the kitchen.

“Hi, Patsy. Lost.” Eva turns away from the stove and smiles. “Are you hungry?” At my nod, she continues, “I’ve got some burgers here if you want something fast. Or Cindy’s got a casserole going but that won’t be ready for a little while.”

I glance down at Patsy, who shrugs. “Burger’s fine.”

As Eva busies herself getting out buns and making our sandwiches, Patsy tugs at my arm. I lower my head so I can hear her softly spoken question.

“The club girls cook?”

Eva overhears and laughs. “Those that can, do. Er, Tits, we don’t really trust since the time she got the salt and sugar muddled up. Sure was a weird lasagne that time.”

“She did it on purpose,” saunters in another girl who continues her explanation, “to get out of having to help. How’s my casserole looking?”

“Bubbling,” Eva tells her.

Cindy turns to Patsy. “I’m Cindy. I don’t think we’ve been introduced.”

“Er, Patsy.”

From her slight hesitation, I gather Patsy may not have spoken to, but has definitely seen Cindy, and probably Pearl and Tits in action. I’m pleased Cindy gives her a genuine smile, which she would have been unlikely to do if Patsy had been younger. I’ve seen the club girls running off competition before. They can be possessive about their bikers. Of course, it could be a different matter if they see I’m serious about her, but maybe not. It’s rare nowadays I partake of their services.

Eva’s pointing and asking if we want this or that, then passing over condiments so we can prepare our snacks as we want. As we sit down to eat, Cindy struts off.

A loud booming voice precedes its owner into the kitchen. “Hey, Eva? You there, woman? I’ve got a cock that needs sucking.”

Seconds later, I’m slapping Patsy’s back to help her stop choking.

“Salem,” I growl, as the man making the request comes into sight.

He looks completely unrepentant, even when he spots Patsy seated beside me. He’s sporting a smirk as he raises an eyebrow toward Eva who giggles, then sends an apologetic look Patsy’s way before she lets the enforcer put his arm around her and leads her off. Probably not very far, no one’s particularly shy in the clubroom.

It had been a shock to me that first time Snake had brought me to the clubhouse. I can still remember it now. I’d been granted a new lease on life, even if at the time I didn’t know whether I wanted it, whether it was just too damn hard making the effort to stay alive. Maybe if I’d been taken under the wing of a civilian, I’d have returned to my option of taking the easy way out. But I was immediately immersed in a different lifestyle, something I’d never dreamed would become my way of life. I’d been introduced to men who were fiercely protective of each other, rough and rowdy. They would never seek death out, but with the knowledge that Satan might choose any day to take them, they were determined to live a full life before they died. Hence their anything goes way of living.

As a prospect, I’d been tested hard—almost given no time to think which at the time was exactly what I needed. I was run ragged, falling into my bed and going out like a light when my day’s duties were finally completed. Tinder, who I’d prospected beside and had shown me the ropes, including passing off the more unpleasant stuff he didn’t like, had patched in shortly after, leaving me as the sole grunt they had. Tinder. Yeah. He was another one who threw his lot in with Snake and who’s now out bad.

The point is, for an outsider, our way of life can be hard to swallow. I’m slightly concerned about Patsy’s reaction. Only a short time ago, she was reminding me about her normal life and how much she missed it, so I spare Patsy a glance, surprised to see she’s trying not to laugh.

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