Page 80 of Being Lost

“Would it put Alex’s nose out of joint?”

“Hell no. Alex already likes her. And you know my ol’ lady, she’s not like that. From what I’ve seen of Patsy, she’d never lord it over her, or any of us.”

She wouldn’t. I’m certain of that.

“As far as you’re concerned, Lost, I think you need someone in your corner. Sure, you’ve got us, but I can vouch for having someone to come home to, someone who listens when you want to rant. And,” he winks, “who knows how to suck your cock just the way you like it.”

Just like that he has me imagining Patsy’s lips around my cock. Christ, looks like it takes nothing to get my dick swelling where she’s involved. Now I’m wondering whether she’s ever given head before, or whether I’d need to instruct her. I really have no objection to being her first.

But I agree. Someone like Patsy—someone whoisPatsy, would ground me. Give me a purpose to get up every day. Make me want to be a better man.

Now, I’ve just got to persuade her.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Patsy

Lost’s bed is comfortable, the mattress supportive and yet still soft, the comforter cosy in the air-conditioned coolness of the room. Best of all, it smells of him.

I knew he would have stayed with me if he got his wishes granted, but Token’s summons had woken us, and I knew he couldn’t refuse. I’d tried to entice him, but his club comes first. As it rightly should. He’d worn me out last night, giving my body a workout it hadn’t had for many years so I’d fallen back asleep. When I awaken the second time, I miss him. It dawns on me maybe too much.

Perhaps it’s best I have a few moments alone to process what’s happened between us.

On a sexual level, how can I begin to describe it? Lost’s way of making love is demanding, controlling and boy, did it work. There was no way my previous experience could match up. My orgasms were so powerful, for a few seconds I wasn’t sure I was going to survive them, and oh, that beard. I’ve no desire to try a clean-shaven man, certain they wouldn’t match up. As I stretch my legs, relishing the slight soreness that tells me it hadn’t all been a dream, I know I want more, if only to check the first time wasn’t a fluke. Yeah, sure. Conduct an experiment, why not?

Why not?Because I’m already addicted to his touch.

Even now it might be too late. I was stupid to jump into bed with him. If I want to walk away with my feelings unscathed, there must never be a repeat. But oh, how he’s spoiled me. I doubt I’ll ever find a man like Lost again. No other man would measure up. It’s not just his prowess in bed, it was his personality and how easy he’d made everything. I’d felt embarrassed, awkward, uncertain, but he’d taken all my worries away.

I hadn’t felt like a menopausal woman in his arms. I’d felt ageless, cherished and loved.

Loved?Too soon, no way. Lost had told me I was his, but he only meant last night, didn’t he? I know my own feelings, could he be feeling the same way?

My feelings?

I pull his pillow toward me, breathing in the scent of the man. I’ve never been particularly enamoured of a man’s perfume before, and if I’m honest, I do smell his sweat. But it’s his pheromones clinging to the material that are doing something to me, and instead of a turn-off, it’s a turn-on, twinned with the memory of what we had been doing. I wish I could steal his sheet, take it with me so he’d be with me every day.

Take it with me, because yes, I have to leave. Leave, I must, before I sink deeper into the pool of desire and affection that I feel toward Lost. Get away, before I admit what I feel could be love. Initially I’d had feelings for my ex, what I already feel for Lost surpasses them.

He asked me to move my things into his room.

What’s worrying is how much I want to. To fall asleep in his arms each night after making love, well, there’s nothing more I’d rather do.

There are too many reasons why I can’t.

Yesterday, I’d had information thrown at me from all directions. Suggestions, ideas, outrageous thoughts that made me feel I’d been dropped into the middle of an action movie. One thing after another coming at me fast, it had been too hard to compute.

Now, I lay back, sifting through, trying to get everything straight in my head. It all circles around to one thing—everyone would be better off if I went away.

I start to rise, then stop.No. Think this through. Don’t act rashly.

I’m totally out of my depth and not afraid to admit it. I’m a housewife, mother and I sew clothes. I’ve never even handled a gun in my life. The only fights I’ve ever seen have been staged and filmed, or violence I’ve seen on the news. In real life, I suspect they’d be terrifying. I don’t want my son or the man who made love to me in the midst of something like that. Nor do I want Lost’s men to be pulled into something because of me. They’ve got their own quirks, but I’m beginning to like them.

I’m the one Alder’s after. If I leave, everyone here will be safe.

Tears prick at the back of my eyes.I don’t want to leave.I just don’t see what else I can do. The only thing I’m firm on is that whatever decision I make has to be acted on today, while I’m still able to tear myself away from the man who’s come to mean so much to me in such a short time.

Tear myself away? Rip my heart into shreds is more like it. This time, it won’t just be a daughter I’m leaving behind, it will be Dan, and Lost.But they’ll be safe.

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