Page 96 of Being Lost

“Anyway, the difference is, when you left to go with Phil, it was because you thought his life was easy.”

“It wasn’t.” He grimaces. “No one wanted me there. I was the son, the heir, or so they believed. No one had my back when push came to shove. But here? It’s all about proving myself, but this time with a purpose. I’ve got a chance of becoming part of a team, and that’s what I want.”

“I’m sorry I tried to leave.” I revert back to the reason he came over. “I wasn’t really thinking, Dan. Lost, well, he overwhelmed me, and I panicked I suppose.”

“Overwhelmed you?” He grins. “Fucked you, I think.”

Did he really say that?“Dan, I…Dan!”

He elbows me gently in the ribs. “I don’t mind, Mom. Just as long as you keep it in your room and don’t put on a display in the clubroom.” As I splutter, he continues, “Seriously, I think Lost is the best thing to ever happen to you. Give it a chance, Mom. Let Lost put this right and get Alder behind you.” His eyes fill with mirth again. “I wonder what Beth will say? Like daughter, like mother, you’ve snared yourself a biker.”

Despite myself, I laugh. It’s the last thing I ever expected. But despite him being an MC prez, Lost is a good man.

“Want a drink?”

I’ve had enough. “No, I was going to bed.” My expression challenges him to question whether it’s my own or Lost’s, but luckily, he refrains from comment.

Instead he leans in, kissing my cheek. “Have a goodsleep, Mom. I’ll hang around with the prospects and see if I can pick up a few tips.”

I make my way to the stairs as Dan goes and true to his word, props himself against the bar and starts a discussion with Curtis.

I enter Lost’s room feeling like an intruder. Standing in the doorway, I’m undecided about whether I should really be here or not.

I stare around the room. There’s no doubt it’s a comfortable, if very masculine, space. If Lost and I are really together, will this be where we will live? I don’t need much, just a space where I can work, and I’m sure Lost will find me a corner for that. A bed, sofa and television are the basics for sure. But I do like to cook, and while there’s a kitchen downstairs, it’s normally in use preparing meals for all of the brothers, and I’m not sure I’d want to do that. Apart from the fact he lives in just one room, I can hear music throbbing up through the floorboards. He’s always on call, subject to a knock on the door summoning him at all hours. This isn’t a place where he can switch off.

Would he live off compound? I know that Dart does. Should I even ask him? I need to take the man as he is and not try to change him. But if I don’t, I’d have to change myself, and perhaps I’m too old to do that. I like having my own space, loved my old house with a garden which was great for entertaining in the summer months.

Am I thinking too much like Kim, his ex, did? Thinking only of myself. The thought is disturbing.

The only thing that should matter is that we’re together. If I love the man, I should be able to do that anywhere. I look around again, trying to ignore the thump of the beat in the background.I can make this work.I’ll have to. I’m already committed to Lost.

Love the man, love the club. That’s something I’ve read in my books. And there will be more advantages than disadvantages being with Lost, I’m certain of that.

Viewing the room more positively as my new home has me moving my feet and closing the door behind me. I go into the shower and once again, using Lost’s shower gel, wash away the grime of the day. Then, with the towel wrapped tightly around me, I delve into the bag that I’d packed earlier on today. For a moment I pause, realising I’d been crazy to leave, that a life spent running away is no way to live. I suspect I’d have realised that before too long and returned, even if I had gotten away.

But Lost had come after me. He’d cared enough to find me. That gives me a warm feeling inside.

I start digging through my clothes again, hoping to find something sexy, but nothing’s magically appeared since I threw it all in.

I could slide into his bed naked. Lost would be happy enough with that. But as I’m alone, I feel a little unnerved and want at least some armour around me.What if there’s a fire alarm or something?But nothing I’ve got in my bag seems suitable. Eyeing Lost’s drawers, I go over and open them. The first has an assortment of underwear and socks, but the second proves more fruitful. I pull out a much-worn t-shirt withSatan’s Devils MC San Diegoprinted on it. It reminds me of him, so I put it on. It drowns me, reaching down to mid-thigh.

I laugh at myself for thinking I could be ready on my knees when Lost returns but realise I could be waiting a while. I have no idea how long he’ll be gone, or what he’s doing right now.

The bed looks tempting and, as I already know, is comfortable. Lifting the comforter, I slide under it. I yawn. It’s been a long day and I was stressed out for much of it. I close my eyes, just to rest them for a short while.

This pillow is so soft yet somehow so supportive…

“It’s alright,” I hear a voice murmur. “It’s late, just go back to sleep.”

I haven’t even the energy to wake up properly, only vaguely conscious that a strong, familiar arm is being draped across me.

When I do manage to rouse myself, sunlight is shining through the curtains and Lost is awake and staring down into my eyes. My first thought is that he clearly needs less sleep than I do.

Unable to resist, I raise my hand, placing it against his bearded face. “What time did you come to bed?”

His brow furrows. “No idea, but it was late.” His mouth quirks. “I see someone’s stolen my t-shirt.”

I grin. “Do you mind?”

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