Page 23 of Shattered Mind

I park and climb out before opening the back door of the car and waking Reign. Hunter climbs out with a grunt and takes Reigns hand, leading her up the front steps.

I enter the house first, but as I step over the threshold a familiar smell hits me. My stomach growls, reminding me I haven’t eaten today, and I follow the scent into the living room with my nose in the air. “Do I smell spag-bowl?”

I freeze mid-step as my eyes land first on Sav where she’s curled up on Hunter’s sofa, and then on the man who looks completely out of place sitting beside her. “Mason?”

“Grandad!” Reign yells from behind me and my eyes burn as she rushes past me, leaping into the arms of the man that’s been like a father to me since I was fifteen.

Movement on my right has me pulling my gaze away from the pair as Elizabeth comes walking out of the kitchen and pulls me into her arms. “Hello, my girl,” she whispers, and I sniffle.

A weight I didn’t realise I’d been carrying releases from my shoulders as my best friend’s mum holds me for a moment before pulling back and running her gaze over me.

“Missed you.” Emotion coats my words and Elizabeth smiles softly.

“Missed you, too, darling.”

Savannah stands from her seat on the sofa, and we watch as she approaches a wide-eyed Hunter where he stands in the doorway. His deer-in-headlights gaze bounces between the four of us and she gives him a quick kiss before turning and introducing him to her parents.

I watch silently as words are exchanged between Mason and Hunter until my stomach growls again, reminding me that there’s spaghetti waiting to be eaten. I step forward and clap my hands. “Now that everyone’s been introduced, can we eat?”

***

I close the front door behind me with a soft click and pull one of Hunter’s many fleece blankets tighter around me. The sun has set behind the mountains giving the air a crisper feel and blanketing the ranch in thick shadows. The faint sound of horses whinnying swirls through the air and I take a deep breath as I come to sit in one of the Adirondack chairs.

Before we moved here, I had no idea such peace existed. There’s something so enchanting about this place. The people. I love the fact that it’s so quiet. There’s no sounds of traffic. No people honking their horns because they’re in a rush to get from A to B. In fact, no one is in a rush here, period. Life moves at a leisurely pace in Rosewater Creek.

The only downside to all that time and peace, is it gives my mind the chance to run wild with every thought and feeling I’ve been able to block out with the fast life in London.

I’ve done a lot of thinking since being here. Wondering where my life would be now if my parents were still alive. Would I still be here? Would I have the bond with Savannah that I have now? Are they proud of me? So many questions I will never know the answers to.

In some fucked up way, I’m grateful that life turned out the way it has. Because even though I lost everything in the process, I wouldn’t have everything I have now if it hadn’t. I wouldn’t know these people. Wouldn’t be a part of this family we’ve created since arriving in Rosewater Creek.

I hear the deep rumble of Hunter’s laugh as the front door opens and Elizabeth steps onto the porch in nothing but her sun dress.

“It’s cold out here,” I tell her.

She gives me her usual warm smile. “Honey, doesn’t matter what temperature it is here, it’s still warmer than England.”

I laugh. “I suppose that’s true. Clearly, I’ve climatized.”

She takes the seat next to me. “What’re you doing out here?”

I keep my eyes out in the distance, watching as one of the ranch hands crests the hill towards the main barn on horseback. “I wanted to give you guys some time alone as a family.”

I feel her gaze burning on the side of my face as she turns to look at me. “You are part of our family, Olivia. Have been since the first time Savannah brought you home and introduced you as her best friend.”

Tears burn the back of my eyes, and I blink rapidly to keep them at bay. I take a deep breath before releasing it on a long exhale. “I feel like I’ve failed her so many times.”

“What on earth would make you think that?” Elizabeth asks me, her voice full of disbelief.

I shrug. “I failed to see what he was doing to her the first time. I was so wrapped up in my own shit that I was ignorant to the signs. And then again when he came back this time. He was here for so long and none of us realised. I almost lost them both.”

Tears fall freely now and my chin trembles as she reaches out her hand and grips mine in a crushing hold. “Look at me, Olivia.”

Her voice is stern, holding no room for argument and my eyes fly to hers. “None of that was your fault. None of it. It’s not Savannahs fault either. The only person to blame for Ryan’s actions is Ryan. You have stuck by my daughter’s side through every hardship she has ever faced.Youhave been there when it mattered most. Every. Single. Time.”

Her voice shakes with barely restrained anger as she continues, “No one expects you to save them. That isn’t your job. Your job is to be there in the aftermath, to help her pick up the pieces left behind. And you have done that. If we were going to place blame on people for not seeing the signs, then I’d be blaming myself for the rest of my life because I didn’t see them either. She didn’twantus to see them, Liv. Don’t burden yourself with guilt for something you had no control over. Just be there for our girls, like you always have.”

Elizabeth pulls me into a hug and the dam breaks. I cry like a little girl on the shoulder of the closest thing I’ve had to a mother since I was a child. She holds me as I sob, releasing all the guilt I’ve been harbouring for years until the tears subside, and I finally feel like I can breathe again.

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