Page 3 of Shattered Mind

Fuck, I can’t breathe.

“Grayson!” I hear, but it sounds miles away.

I’m lying on the ground, but I can’t remember how I got here.

Ruebens face is turned towards me, his eyes closed, almost peaceful as they continue to push on his chest. I crawl towards him, needing to be close to him, needing him to know he isn’t alone.

I grab his hand. “I’m right here, Rue.”

“Time of death, eight-twenty-seven,” an unfamiliar female voice says, and I blink up at her through wet lashes.

The fuck did she just say?

“No.” I shake my head at the woman.

“I’m sorry. There’s nothing we can do.”

“No!” I scream, launching myself towards him. They can’t give up yet. They’ve barely even fucking tried.

Hands grab at me, but I fight them off. I pull my best friend into my lap, holding him there as the reality of the last few moments come crashing down around me. Their words echo around my head. Everything around me fades into nothing until it’s just me cradling Ruebens dead body in my lap.

Time of death, eight-twenty-seven.

Time of death.

Dead.

My best friend of twenty years.

Gone.

In eight seconds.

And just like that, my life will neverbe the same again.

CHAPTER 1

GRAYSON

THREE MONTHS AGO

Someone, somewhere, claimed that time heals all wounds.

I call bullshit.

The only thing time has done is allowed the darkness inside of me to take root and spread further and further until I’m so deep in it that I’m unable to crawl my way out.

Nothing and no one could’ve prepared me for life in a world where Rueben doesn’t exist, but everyday I’m reminded of all the things he’s missing out on. Not just in my life, but in his daughter’s life also.

I’m ashamed to admit that in the months that followed Ruebens death, I had a hard time facing Sapphire. Her face, so much like her fathers, was nothing but a constant reminder of all I’d lost.

It wasn’t just Sapphire I’d avoided, but Ruebens parents too. I couldn’t face them without seeing his lifeless body on the ground. Without hearing the paramedics call time of death.

I was consumed by guilt, wishing that I had done more. Everyone has told me that there was nothing I could have done to save him, but I disagree. I could’ve stopped him from pursuing a career so dangerous. Could have convinced him to come and work on the ranch with my brothers and me. Anything that would’ve changed the outcome of his life.

I was selfish in my grief. I was selfish because, while I was suffering, I’d forgotten that there was a two-year-old girl out there, growing up without her father. A mother and father living every day without their only son.

It wasn’t until Rebecca, Sapphire’s mom, turned up at my house and demanded I let her in where she proceeded to ream me out for not visiting my Goddaughter, that I realised my selfishness.

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