Page 39 of Shattered Mind

“Never mind. British humour.”

Savannah appears then, towel wrapped around her head and her small baby bump showing through her white t-shirt. “I heard that,” she says, pulling me into a hug and whispering, “Gray’s here.”

My stomach drops and heat instantly fills my cheeks. “What the fuck, Sav?” I whisper between gritted teeth as I pull back and shoot daggers at my traitorous best friend.

“Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t know he was coming. He came to speak to Hunter about something work related, and Hunter’s been so worried about him so, I invited him to stay for dinner.”

I turn to look at Hunter and he avoids my eyes, mumbling something about dinner burning before hightailing it towards the kitchen.

I look back at Savannah. “How nice of you. And let me guess, he doesn’t know I’m coming for dinner too?”

She smiles sheepishly. “You’re so good at the guessing game.”

I return her smile with a mocking one. “Flattery will get you nowhere, bitch.”

I can’t exactly turn around and leave, so I stalk past her with a dramatic huff. Her laugh follows me as I enter the kitchen and face Grayson with fake - and entirely too forced - confidence.

CHAPTER 19

GRAYSON

My beer halts halfway to my lips as Liv sashays into the kitchen, her shoulders back and head held high. My eyes find my brother as he looks between the two of us, catching the guilty redness in his face before he busies himself with chopping onions.

We’ve been set up.

I focus my gaze back on Liv, raking my eyes over her. She’s wearing a dress today. Blue, like the colour of her eyes hugs every curve, making her olive skin appear darker against the light material. Her dark hair is pulled back from her face with a flower claw clip and hangs down her back in loose waves. Her face is makeup free, only a light coat of mascara on her lashes that makes her eyes more striking than usual as they land on my face.

“Gray,” she nods towards me casually. Like I’m an acquaintance, and not someone who knows how she sounds when she comes.

“Blue,” I reply, tipping my beer toward her and revelling in the way her false bravado slips, cheeks stainingpink at the nickname.

My new sister-in-law enters the kitchen with Reign in tow and Hunter lets out a loud breath as he reaches for his fiancée. “Oh, thank God you’re here. It was getting intense in here.”

Savannah laughs, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek before opening the fridge and pulling out a beer for Liv, who stands with an amused smirk on her face as she shakes her head at my brother.

“Whats intense mean?” Reign asks, her doe eyes wide with genuine interest.

I raise a brow at Hunter and wait. “Intense is what the air feels like when your uncle Gray looks at your aunt Liv.”

His response has both women throwing their heads back with a laugh and my lips twitch in amusement as the young girl looks between us and nods her head like she’s satisfied with that answer. “Oh, okay.”

The five of us sit around the table eating dinner as Savannah tells Liv about her most recent ultrasound and the pair gush over baby showers and all that girly shit. Hunter chimes in every now and then with ideas about themes and I watch the way he beams with pride as he talks about his unborn child.

I’m happy for him. He’s getting everything he ever wanted in life, but I can’t help the pang of envy I feel as he plans his future without a single worry of losing it all hanging over his head.

I realise that isn’t a healthy way of thinking, but it’s also theonlyway I think. When you lose someone close to you, someone you thought would be a part of your life forever, it alters your brain chemistry. It makes you realise that tomorrow isn’t promised for anyone.

And for some, that revelation would push them to chase all the things they’ve ever wanted. The house. The family. But for me, it did the opposite.

It made me want to run from that. To avoid letting anyone close to me to save myself from the heartache that’ll inevitably follow when I lose them.

A lot of the people in this town think they know me. They think they have me figured out. That I’m the dark, unapproachable brother that’s incapable of love. And I let them. Because it’s easier for them to think that of me, than to explain that I’m not incapable of love. I’mterrifiedof it.

I watch Liv as she interacts with Reign and I know that if things were different, she’d be the woman I’d want in my future. The mother of my children someday. But that’s a pipe dream. It’s out of reach. It’s notpossible.

My skin becomes clammy and my vision blurs around the edges as I stand abruptly, excusing myself from the table. My chest is tight as I step out onto Hunters porch and suck in my first full breath in minutes.

I sit on the porch steps, drop my head between my knees and inhale deeply as the panic attack threatens to take over.

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