Page 5 of Shattered Mind

Noah: Goin’ for a beer later. You coming?

Me: Yeah. Pick me up.

Noah: See you at 6.

I often wonder why they still invite me. It’s not like I bring the energy or the vibe, or whatever the fuck the kids are calling it these days. I’m well aware that I’m a miserable prick, so it begs the question; do they invite me out of obligation or guilt? ‘Cause it certainly isn’t for my personality.

***

Noah picks me up at exactly six o’clock, grumbling some shit about Hunter being a pussy, but I ignore him as we make the short drive to our older brother’s house.

I remain silent on the journey to The Dusty Boot – our local dive bar – where we meet up with Noah’s best friend Killian, we sit at our usual table along the back wall that allows us to have the view of the entire bar, front doors and dance floor, and within moments April Harlow approaches us to take our orders.

I make conversation with Killian, asking him about business and he’s halfway through telling me about the quieter season when the three of them pause, their gazes focused on the front doors as they swing closed behind the blonde that just entered them.

“Jesus Christ,” Hunter mutters, his eyes locked on the woman as he drags a hand down his face.

“Fuck,” comes from Noah.

“Who is that?” Killian wonders, bringing his beer to his lips.

I look at her briefly before turning back to my beer. My brother, on the other hand, immediately stands and makeshis way across the bar to introduce himself like an over excited puppy.

I shake my head. She’s beautiful, sure, but nothing – women included – appeals to me anymore. I prefer to be alone, in the quiet. And truthfully, I don’t think any woman in their right mind would want to spend more than a few minutes in my presence.

I’m aware of the whispers. The way people watch me from afar, turning away quickly if I happen to make eye contact with them. And I don’t care. They can think what they want. I have no desire to change anyone’s opinion of me. And I have absolutely zero interest in explaining to someone why I am the way I am.

Not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m not a great conversationalist.

I watch as Hunter openly flirts with the blonde, earning a blush from her before she turns to leave. He watches her shamelessly, his eyes locked on her ass as she goes.

In a way, I envy him. I envy all of them. How it’s so easy for them to set their sights on something they want and go after it. That they can just go about their lives without worrying about what the future may hold.

All of them were there that day. They all witnessed the same devastation I did. And they all eventually moved on from it. They don’t relive that night again and again every time they close their eyes. It became a taboo subject that everyone avoids. Almost like it was locked away, never to be spoken about again. I don’t know if that’s for my sake or their own, but either way, I can’t brush it off as easily as they did.

Hunter returns to our table, announcing it’s time to leave and I throw some dollar bills down before following them out and climbing in the back of Noah’s truck. I stay quiet the entire drive home as I watch the town pass by ina blur of lights, my mind preoccupied with thoughts of Ruebensupcoming anniversary.

CHAPTER 2

OLIVIA

THREE MONTHS AGO

Iflick off the lights as I make my way towards my new bedroom, lingering for a moment as I take in my surroundings, and a proud smile touches my lips.

We did it.

Today my best friend and I moved halfway across the world and into our new forever home with her daughter.

If someone had told me five years ago that I would pack up my entire life and move to America, I’d have laughed in their face. I was born and raised in London, and up until a few years ago, I was convinced that was where I’d stay.

But after everything Savannah has faced in the last few years, everything we have overcome and achieved together, it was a no brainer that I’d follow her wherever she ended up.

Savannah Wilde was my rock during one of the hardest times in my life. As teenagers, the two of us created a bond not many are lucky enough to experience. She’s my family.Myonlyfamily. And there wasn’t a chance in hell I was just gonna watch my family move half a world away.

We began planning this home years ago. Savannah was working multiple part-time jobs to provide for her daughter, and I was a college drop out with more money than I knew what to do with. I tried to tell her on multiple occasions that she didn’t need to work so many jobs. That I could take care of everything, but Savannah is stubborn.

Contrary to her last name, the only wild thing Savannah has ever done was fall in love and get pregnant with a man that didn’t deserve her. I was the wild one of the two of us. The out-of-control best friend that spent her teen years losing herself in parties and random men in a desperate bid to fill the hole the death of her parents had left.

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