Page 55 of Shattered Mind

GRAYSON

“Good boy,” I coo as I pat Casper on the shoulder. After taking more time than I would’ve liked, I’ve finally managed to get a saddle on him. He’s finally gotten used to having a bit in his mouth and my plan today is to get him walking around the paddock so he can get used to the feeling of something being on his back. I need to be sure that he’s not going to buck me off the second I climb up on him.

Some trainers prefer to just climb on up and let the horse buck until it’s out of their system. I’ve done it myself a few times, but with horses like Casper, its more than him just not liking being ridden. I need to earn his trust and being ignorant to that could end up with one of us being seriously hurt. I’ve seen first hand what a kick from a horse can do to a man and its not a position I’d put myself in by being impatient.

I walk with him for an hour or so, allowing him to adjust to the weight of the saddle and the feeling of something being strapped to his body before taking him back to his stall in the barn.

I’m needed out on the fences today. With Autumn in full swing, daylight is limited so the more cowboys we have out there, the better. We have to check for breaks in the fence line before we herd the cattle in preparation for the winter months.

During the summer we send them out into one of the further fields at the back of the ranch. Away from the roads so that random tourist don’t get overly curious and get too close. But in the colder months, we herd them back closer to the main ranch so they can find shelter. We don’t tend to get a lot of snow in Rosewater Creek, but the temperature does drop drastically at night and can be brutal on the animals.

We’ll have to spend the next few weeks preparing for any storms we could possibly get so it’s all hands on deck.

I jump in my truck and make the short drive across the landscape to the main barn before parking behind it and climbing out. Hunter and Noah are already here, along with my dad and a few of the ranch hands.

“We saddled up Storm for you,” my dad says as he climbs up on his gelding.

“Thanks,” I nod, heading over to the chestnut mare tied to the fence. Storm was one of the first horses I trained. In fact, she was the horse that made me want to become a trainer. She was born here and the moment she was of training age my dad threw me in at the deep end. He handed me her reins and told me not to bring her back until she was ready to be put to work. She sort of became my horse after that.

As much as I talk about earning a horses trust when training them, it goes both ways. You have to trust that horse with your life. When you’re out in the middle of nowhere, with no cell service or people for miles, the only thing you can rely on to get you home is your mount. Andthere’s not a horse on this ranch that I trust more than Storm.

Hunter and Noah take off across the fields, but my dad hangs back as I climb up on Storm. We follow behind them at a more leisurely pace and my mind wanders with thoughts of Liv.

She’s been abnormally silent since last night.

Texting has become our new normal recently and her silence makes me a little nervous. After I text her anddemandedshe come over, she’s taken it upon herself to send me a horse joke every day, and I’ve found myself waking up and wondering what new thing she’ll come up with that day.

Today though, nothing.

I can’t deny that I felt disappointed when I reached for my phone this morning and found my screen empty of notifications.

It could just be that she didn’t feel it appropriate after everything I told her last night, but it still bothers me that I haven’t heard from her.

As if he can hear the cogs in my brain working, my dad scrutinises me. “What’s going on in that head of yours, son?”

I look over at the man who raised me, taught me everything I know, and contemplate exactly how much I should share with him. I could tell him everything. I know he’d listen without judgement and give me advice. It’d be so easy to spill my guts to him. But as I open my mouth to speak, I struggle to find the words to describe what’s going on in my head.

So, I settle on an easier truth, “I made an appointment with my therapist today.”

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Oh. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that’s a good thing?”

Storm walks at a leisurely pace as we approach the hill to the back field, and I keep my eyes trained ahead. “Yeah. I think it’s time.”

My dad nods his head thoughtfully. “Does this have anything to do with the rumours about you and Olivia?"

I suck in a deep breath and release it on a long exhale as I think about his question.

Did opening up to Liv make me realise how much I’d been bottling up over the last few years? Yes. But I didn’t make the appointment for her. I did it for me. Because I need closure. “In some ways, yeah. But mostly for my own sake.”

“I’m proud of you, son.” He doesn’t say anything more. Doesn’t ask anymore questions. He just accepts my answer for what it is and moves on.

I give him a tight smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

He nods. “Now, come on. Fences aren’t gonna check themselves,” he says, taking off at a canter across the hill. I shake my head and give Storm a little tap with my foot before following after him.

***

Blue: What’s a horse’s favourite wine?

---