Page 56 of Shattered Mind

I smile at my phone as I lead Storm back into the barn. Her silence has plagued my mind all day and seeing the text has a strange warmth building in my chest. I get storm situated before typing out a reply.

Me: Enlighten me…

Three dots appear at the bottom of the screen.

Blue: Chardonneigh…

I bark out an unexpected laugh.

The sound of metal clanging on concrete has me snapping my head up and my eyes land on Noah as hestares at me, his mouth hanging open in astonishment. The rake he’d been holding lies at his feet. “Dude. Did you just… laugh?”

I roll my eyes as I continue past him and out into the cool evening and type out a response to Liv.

“Close your mouth before something flies in it.” I call over my shoulder and I don’t miss his whispered, “what the fuck?” as I walk away.

Me: My brother just looked at me like I’d sprouted another head because I laughed.

I jump in my truck and make the five-minute drive across the ranch to my house. My phone dings as I walk through the front door, and I grab a beer from the fridge before heading towards my bedroom.

Blue: You know how to laugh!?

I shake my head with a huff as I twist the cap off the bottle and sit on the edge of my bed.

Me: I’m not that bad.

Blue: I’m gonna hold your hand when I tell you this…

Me: Okay. Message received.

Blue: In all seriousness. Are you okay? Last night was a lot.

I think about my response for a moment. I’m uncertain how I feel after last night. It may not seem like much to people on the outside. Just a man taking a woman to his deceased friends grave. But for me, it’s huge.

Before last night, I hadn’t uttered a word about the night Rueben died. Not to my therapist. Not to my brothers. And not to my parents. I justcouldn’t.Any time someone tried to get me to talk about it, I felt thisangerinside of me. It would boil through my blood until my head pulsed with the pressure of it and I would explode.

Some people deal with their grief by speaking about it. They express their feelings through their tears. Screamuntil the pressure lifted off their chest and they could breathe again. Me? I dealt with my grief with anger. I smashed shit. I wanted to hurt everyone around me just so they could feel an ounce of the pain I felt.

And last night was the first time I didn’t feel it. As I stood there at Ruebens graveside, with Liv’s blue eyes watching me with open understanding, I felt calm. I felt relief. I feltfree.

Free from the darkness that has been pulling me under for years.

I realise I’ve been staring at my phone for a solid five minutes without responding and I quickly type a reply.

Me: I’m fine.

Blue: You sure?

Me: Yeah. Thanks for checking.

Blue: Of course! What are fuckbuddies for?;)

I shake my head in amusement as I read her last message and drop my phone onto my bed. Kicking my boots off, I undress andhead for the shower.

CHAPTER 30

OLIVIA

Iplace the milk back into the fridge and close the door, only to let out a cat-like screech when I find Savannah standing on the other side of it. “Jesus fucking Christ, Savannah. You scared the shit out of me!” I scold and the bitch throws her head back and cackles.

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