Page 66 of Shattered Mind

I nod along in understanding. “I know exactly what you mean. It took me a very long time to go to Reuben’s grave after his funeral.”

She assesses my face. “Really?”

“Yeah. I just couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he was down there. I couldn’t look at his parent’s or his daughter. They all just reminded me of him, and I had tricked myself into believing that if I stayed away from them all then I could live in a state of denial.”

“You mean you avoided them so you could go on living like he wasn’t gone?” she asks, her tone free of judgement.

I nod and sigh. “Yeah. It’s pretty fucked up.”

Liv shakes her head. “It’s not fucked up. It was just your way of coping. Everyone grieves differently, Gray. You chose to avoid anything that would remind you he was gone, and I chose not to step foot in my childhood home because I’m afraid it won’t feel the same without them there.”

I guess she’s right. I mean, I know she’s right. It just took me a long time to realise that what I was doing wasn’t normal. “But you can’t live like that forever, Liv. I thought I could, but all I was doing was hurting Reuben’s family and myself in the process.”

She blows out a long breath. “I know. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

I don’t know why I do it, but I wrap one arm around her shoulder and pull her into me, placing a kiss on her head. “You’re one of the strongest, fiercest women I’ve ever met, Blue.”

She looks up at me through a thick layer of lashes. “Damn, cowboy. That almost sounded like a compliment,” she laughs.

I shake my head with an amused smirk. “It was. Don’t get used to it.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

We sit like that until the sun sets behind the mountains and the air grows chillier. Liv shivers against me and I take off my jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders before helping her stand. She manages to mount Storm on her own this time and her face beams with a smile so infectious I find myself smiling right along with her.

We make the long ride back to the barn in content silence and when I reemerge from the stalls after making sure the horses are secure to find Liv waiting by her car, I feel an overwhelming urge to convince her to stay.

She watches me as I approach her and come to a stop, placing my hands in my pockets and rocking on the heels awkwardly. “Are you, uh… hungry?”

One side of Livs mouth kicks up in amusement as she shrugs. “I suppose I could eat.”

“I’m making Philly cheesesteaks,” I say, hoping she’ll understand my invitation. The teasing twinkle in her eyes tells me she understands just fine but plans to make me work for it.

“Sounds good,” she says, still not moving from her car.

I let out a huff. “You’re not gonna make this easy for me, are you?”

She shakes her head with a smile. “No way.”

I roll my eyes. “Do you want to have dinner with me, Olivia?”

“I’d love to,” she responds with a shit-eating grin as she skips past me towards my house. I shake my head incredulously as I follow behind her.

This woman will be the deathof me.

CHAPTER 36

OLIVIA

Imarvel at the open-plan layout of Graysons house. I’ve been here a handful of times, but I’ve never taken the time to actually look around at the place, and to say I’m surprised would be an understatement.

It’s so much brighter than I would’ve imagined for him. I expected dark wood and leather to match his brooding personality, but this house is the exact opposite of that.

Every wall is white. But it doesn’t have a cold, sterile feel to it. There’s light wooden beams spread out evenly across the edge of the living room, supporting the high ceilings. The fireplace is also surrounded by the same light wood, with logs stacked on either side. The sofas are a light grey fabric, situated around a glass coffee table and a large chandelier hangs above, lighting the room perfectly.

The kitchen is much the same with no door separating the two rooms, just a breakfast bar dividing the space between them. It’s open, but the furniture placement somehow makes it feel cozy.

“Gray. This house is beautiful.” I say in amazement.

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