Page 90 of Shattered Mind

My vision blurs as her words resound in my head over and over. My voice is merely a whisper when I respond, “No, she didn’t.”

Of course, she fucking didn’t. Because I’ve done everything in my power to put the most amount of distance between us as possible. I didn’t allow her the fucking opportunity to tell me.

I stumble back a step, catching myself quickly before turning on my heels and rushing out the door. The fresh air hits me in the face and I cup the back of my head, sucking in breath after breath.

London.

She’s gone.

My mom was right.

I lost her.

I ended things between us so easily because I knew that whether we were falling into bed with each other ornot, she’d always be around. I would still see her face. Still hear her laugh. I could watch from the sidelines as she moved on with her life and got everything she deserves.

I was so confident that having that small connection to her life would be enough for me to eventually get over her and she just fucking severed it.

She’s gone.

And she took my fucking heart with her.

Did my brothers know? My parents? Did everyone fucking know and not one person had the decency to tell me?

Do I even deserve that? I’ve been a prick. I treated Liv so badly. The least she deserved from me was an explanation and I couldn’t even give her that, so why the fuck should I deserve one from her?

I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial her. The phone rings once before a voice comes over the line, “The number you have called is unavailable.”

“Fuck,” I murmur, as I walk to my truck and redial.

I get the same results five more times before I give up and make my way home.

A deep ache forms in my chest and desperation climbs up my throat as I ask myself the same question over and over again.

What the fuck have I done?

CHAPTER 52

OLIVIA

Ican’t do it.

I’ve been standing on the porch of my parent’s house for fifteen minutes. I just can’t make my feet move.

Carter, bless his heart, has been stood with me, patiently waiting for me to be ready to cross the threshold.

This is the closest I’ve gotten in ten years.

The door is open. I can see the entry hallway. I can see the empty coat hooks and shoe rack by the front door.

I really wish Savannah was with me right now. She’d know exactly what to say or do in this moment to help me through the internal battle I’m currently dealing with.

I look at Carter and reach out to him. “Can you, uh…” I wet my dry lips and swallow thickly, “hold my hand?”

He gives me a comforting smile and wraps his large hand around my small one. “Of course. Just let me know when you’re ready, yeah?”

I look back at the looming hallway and close my eyes, trying to imagine what my mum would say if she could see me right now. She’d probably call me a pussy and tell me to get on with it and the thought alone brings a small smile to my face.

I can do this.

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