Page 92 of Shattered Mind

I was so confident I was doing the right thing for the both of us, even though it meant subjecting myself to the heartache that came with it. Because in my mind, that was better than ever having to deal with the pain that would come if I ever outlived her.

I was so fucking wrong.

After spending the last week knowing what it feels like for her to really be out of reach, I would rather take that risk and have her than have to live the rest of my life knowing that she’s out there and I might never see her again.

The thought of her sitting in my parents dining room, her head hung in embarrassment, being the last time that I might ever lay eyes on her makes me sick to my fucking stomach.

How could I be so cowardly?

She wasrightthere.

All I had to do was man the fuck up and say something. I could have told her I was sorry. That I was scared. I could have fucking admitted that despite everything I said in the beginning, I was madly in love with her.

But I didn’t.

I did what I always do. I ran away. Well, actually, I puked my guts up in my moms rose bush and then I ran away.

And I’m doing it again now.

Instead of confronting my brother, or simply asking Savannah for help, I’m hiding in my house and drowning my sorrows in a bottle of fucking whiskey.

This is my rock bottom.

A knock sounds at my door, and I drop my head back against the sofa with a sigh.

He’s a persistent motherfucker, my brother.

I have every intention of ignoring it when Killian’s voice comes from the other side. “Gray, open the door.”

I shake my head and stand, dragging my sorry ass to the door and opening it.

His eyes rake over my body before landing on mine. “You look like shit, man.”

“Thanks.”

He pats my shoulder and pushes past me, letting himself in to my house. “Come on in why don’t you.”

He makes his way to my sofa and sits, reaching for the bottle of whiskey. “You know, this ain’t gonna help you.”

I shrug. “It might if I drink enough.”

He shakes his head and takes a shot directly from the bottle. I return to the seat I’ve been occupying and stare at him. “Why are you here?”

“Because I am the only person in this town that understands the way you feel right now.”

I slump against my seat, the fight leaving me as his words register. He’s not wrong. If anyone can sympathise with the way I feel right now, it’s him.

“I don’t know what to do, man.”

He gives me a tight smile. “I can’t tell you what to do, Gray, but I can give you some advice.”

“Go on,” I say.

“First of all, do you love her?” he asks and there’s no hesitation before I respond.

“I do.”

He nods once. “Good. Don’t do what I did. Don’t let her walk away without a fight. It’s the biggest mistake I have ever made, and I have been paying for it every day since.”

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