Page 79 of Pack: Posy 3

"I'm sorry if I'm being selfish about wanting you to stay home," I told them, "and I know there are people who need help and I feel bad about that, but this was— This was justtoo much."

"I know, honey. I'm sorry I screwed up and—"

"No, Cole." I framed his face with my palms. "No blaming yourself. It happened and we got through it and that's what matters, but now I need a break.Allof us do."

"You have to admit, it's been a crazy summer so far," Ash said. "Even forus, there's been a whole lot of weird shit going down."

"Language," Mason muttered, "but yeah, there has. My little baby is right. We need a nice, long break, and we're taking it together."

The lush smell of roses wafted under my nose, and I turned to see Jayden jogging up the walk. His dragon eyes went to me first, then swept over his brothers sprawled around me on the grass. With a frown, he kicked the bottom of Cole's shoe.

"What's wrong with you? What did I miss?"

"Aw, nothing much." Wyatt shrugged his shoulders and squinted up at him. "Cole touched another luna and caught a disease that made him yell mean things at Posy and fight me and Ash before the witches cured him."

Jayden's mouth opened, his face full of questions, but Cole raised his index finger and spoke first.

"For the record, I'd like to clarify that it was a parasite, not adisease."

"Same same." Wyatt shrugged again.

"Mase?" Jayden stared at his eldest brother.

"No, that pretty much summed it up. Lacked all details and skipped a few important bits, but accurate nonetheless."

"Yeah, I'm thinking I need to hear those details and important bits." Jayden sat down next to me and draped an arm around my shoulders. Drawing me against his side, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Missed you, sweetness. Are you okay?"

"I missed you, too." I rested against him with a sigh. "I didn't expect you back so soon, but I'm really glad you are."

"And are you okay?" He lifted my chin with two fingers so I'd look at him. "You've been crying."

Staring into his beautiful eyes, I felt too many things at once and couldn't untangle them enough to begin processing anything. Shaking my head, I held up a hand, silently asking for his patience. He nodded, caught my hand, and held it against his heart.

The rest of my mates crowded around me. Cole laid his head on my other shoulder and Mason, Ash, and Wyatt sat criss-cross applesauce in front of us, as close to me as so many knees would let them get.

As the final rays of light faded, I lifted my face to see the first of the evening stars twinkling in the velvet sky. Taking a deep breath, I started talking.

"I got knocked down pretty hard today. It wasn't anyone's fault, and it didn't help that my mind got so clouded by my past and low self-esteem that I focused only on the negatives and couldn't remember any positives."

I swallowed hard and looked around at my boys, meeting each of their eyes before I continued.

"I didn't want to tell you this, but I think you need to know. I thought about ending it all. When I ran from here, I told Lark that if this didn't kill us, I'd find a way to do it myself."

Five waves of anguish, solid and heavy, hit my mate bond. I acknowledged them with a small nod, but hoped they wouldn't interrupt me while I had the courage to speak.

"But I didn't." I lifted my chin. "I'm done crying, but I'm still working on getting up. I don't know how much time that will take, but when I do, I'll keep going. I won't give up. I'll keep going because—"

My voice choked up, and I stopped to take a few deep breaths until I could speak again.

"I'll keep going because I am stronger than anything that tries to keep me down."

Before the others could react, Ash unfolded his grasshopper legs, got to his knees, and leaned in to cup my face in his hands. His eyes met mine for several long seconds, then a brilliant grin stretched across his face.

"There she is. There's our amazing, beautiful, strong mate. She gets knocked down, she cries, she gets up, and she keeps going." His grin disappeared, and I saw dead seriousness in his chocolate eyes for the first time ever. "And you know what that makes you, princess?"

I shook my head, my cheeks warm from his praise.

"Yes, you do. You're our bad-ass bitch, baby."

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