Page 62 of Of Shadow and Moon

Long moments pass, and I look his way, my voice barely audible over the quiet. “Will you stay with me? Just until I wake up?”

It's a stupid question. I know it is. He's not real, yet a part of me doesn't care. In the world of wakeful reality, I'm always alone, always fighting to survive, to prove something. But here, with Zar, I can let my guard down. Just for a little while.

“Forever and a day,” he says. It’s a vow, a promise, and for the first time in what feels like actual forever, the crushing loneliness eases just a little.

I close my eyes, content, and for a moment, the world isn't such a bad place. I know I will wake up soon, and the weight of reality will come crashing down. But for now, I let myself drift, holding onto the one thing that feels steady in the chaos.

Zar keeps his word and stays with me. It's enough.

I wakeup feeling rested for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

Chapter 36

Selestina

It’s been a semi-normal day here at Obsidian. I mean, as normal as it can be. Professor Thalor teaching us about alchemy, saying it is a basic foundational knowledge that everyone should excel in. I mean, I don’t disagree with him.

I drop my bag on the floor, a flash of something peeking out of the zipper, something that wasn’t there before.

I frown, crouching down to get a better look. There’s a folded piece of paper, just barely visible.

Slowly, I pull the note out and unfold it. The handwriting is unmistakable and very familiar.

Alexander’s.

Quarter till midnight. Don’t be late. Use discretion. X -A

My stomach twists at the sight of his name. And when he says discretion, it means he’s about to ask me to dosomething dangerous. Something I can’t refuse. And in all seriousness, I’ve never refused him, that would mean death.

I crumple the note in my fist, already feeling the cold knot of dread forming in my chest. Whatever this is, it’s not going to be simple.

And it’s not going to be safe.

I pull the note closer, scanning the small writing at the bottom. There’s a time and a place:midnight, the western tower.

I glance at the clock. I’ve got a few hours until I have to meet him, but the weight of the task is already pressing down on me. I don’t even know what it is yet, but I can feel it. Whatever this task is, it’s going to test me. Test my loyalty to him.

I drop the note back into my backpack, my mind racing. I know it’s going to be bad. It always is.

That’s what he does, sends me into places no one else can get into. He trusts me for that, trusts my skill and my ability to blend in, to become invisible. But he also uses that trust to keep me close, to keep me tethered to him.

He’s going to ask about Etzli. I have my story prepared, but fuck, I hope he believes me.

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for my fate.

A few hours later, I sit up; the bed creaking beneath me, and pull my boots back on. Nasarea will be in the library studying tonight. So I don’t need to worry about explaining my behavior.

By the time I make it to the western tower, the moons are high and the air is cool, a soft breeze brushing against my skin. The tension rises with every step. I wait until nobody can see me before putting on my cloak and mask.As much as I hate my responsibility and duty to Alexander, there’s something comforting about putting on my other identity.

“Selestina,”he says, his voice low, smooth. “I’m glad my message made it to you safely.”

I nod, keeping my expression neutral. “Yes, of course, Alexander.” I touch my face to make sure my silk mask is in place.

“Tell me about Etzli Moreno,” he drawls, his voice as smooth as it is demanding.

I take a deep breath, steadying myself for this moment. “I followed him up until the night he went missing. I saw him at dinner, but afterward, I went to the library to study. That’s when he disappeared.” My tone is measured and calm, too calm, maybe, but I pray he doesn’t pick up on the subtle cracks in my story. He scowls at my admission to studying over watching Etzli, but in order for him to believe me, I couldn’t have done a perfect job. There needed to be one slight misstep that I could actually afford to take the consequence for. It’s better than the alternative.

What really happened.

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