Page 182 of Hidden Kingdoms

Breaking the contact, I focused on a thread in the sheets. He was right; I did know. He was after answers just as much as Bastian was, but unlike with Bastian, there was a part of me that felt guilty at not being able to give him them.

The mattress dipped as he sat up, adjusting himself so he was facing me.

“Did you see anything?” he pushed gently, none of the anger or demand that his friend's voice held. Just a soft request.

Nothing that would help.

I looked up, catching the storm in Kaius’ eyes, nothing within them suggesting he was asking for any ulterior reason. I could give him something, I trusted him enough for that.

“I saw my mum, heard her singing to me,” I told him quietly, unable to stop the smile at the hazy memories. “I saw her face. I’ve never been able to remember it properly before.”

I ignored the last vision of her that had invaded my mind. I wasn’t ready to unpack that.

“At all?” Kaius asked, a small frown of concern on his beautiful face.

“Nothing clear.” I shook my head. “I always thought I was too young to have any lasting memories of her. There were never any photos of her around the house either, which now I think about it is just insane. Who doesn’t have a single photo on display of their dead daughter? Especially when you’re raising her kid.”

Heat pricked the back of my eyes as I ground my teeth on my frustration, forced again to wonder why this had happened to me, and how Nanna was wrapped in it.

“Why has she done this to me?” I half whispered to myself, not realising I had looked away until Kaius’ rough fingers held my chin, angling my gaze back to meet his.

“I don’t know, Goldie. I’d like to think she had her reasons, but that doesn’t mean what she’s done isn’t a betrayal.”

I felt strangely relieved by his validation and hoped he was right, still caught in his grip as Kaius searched my face before he continued.

“What I’m also hearing is, Bastian actually did you a favour in getting your block removed.”

The sparkle of mischief in his eyes soothed me enough that I couldn’t help the weak laugh that left me. “You’ll never hear those words from me.”

“That’s fair enough, I’d never tell him either.” Reluctantly, he let go of me, eyes lingering on my lips a moment.

“There’s still so much that doesn’t make sense.” The half-truths that had been revealed were suffocating in their confusion.

“One day, Goldie, you’ll have all the answers.”

“One day,” I breathed, and Kaius nodded, making a silent agreement between us that somehow we would figure it all out.

We laid back down, my body aching after the magikal workout Marcellus had subjected me to. I did my best to tell him what I had seen when Arden had shifted part of the block, and with a grimace, Kaius agreed it didn’t appear to be anything that could help in the fight against The Darkness.

“Would you leave?” he asked hesitantly, voice quiet in a way I wasn’t used to. “If you could, would you leave?”

The fact that I knew the answer instantly threw me, and I waited for a moment before answering.

“No. I wouldn’t.”

Kaius’ body relaxed slightly, sinking into the pillows as I continued. “I want to know more, Ineedto know more. And I think… I think that this might be the only place I’ll get answers. I mean look how easy it’s been here so far.” I finished raising an eyebrow at him, and he grinned back at me, all traces of apprehension gone, his silver eyes lighting up his face, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“That doesn’t mean I’m happy being trapped here,” I said, needing him to understand that while I wasn’t locked in the dungeon, this room—gods, this entire palace—was its own cage.

“Of course not,” he agreed, a smile still playing on his full lips, and it took no small amount of effort not to lean in and taste them.

“And even though you’ve clearly upgraded my room, it isn’t mine. Nothing in here belongs to me.”

I didn’t think there were words for the way I longed to touch something of my own, to sleep under a blanket that smelled like home, to shuffle through my tarot deck, or use toothpaste where the level of mint it contained didn’t burn my mouth.

Kaius paused for a moment, eyes flitting around the room before landing back on me. “Noted.”

He reached for me, pulling me into him until we were both laid on the soft blankets, Kaius’ arm around me so I was tucked comfortably into the crook of his side. His other arm was resting across his stomach. Tentatively, I began to trace the patterns of the artwork inked there. Starting at his knuckles, drawing slow circles over each one, my finger brushed against the silver rings he wore before moving to the back of his hand.

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