Page 190 of Hidden Kingdoms

He must have his reasons, even if I didn’t give a fuck what they were. Would this just push him closer to her?

I fisted my hair, as I struggled to think over the sound of his pain as it wrapped around my heart.

Was just having the pendant here enough to keep the dreams at bay, at least a little? I eyed the emerald hanging from my hand, then my eyes flicked back to Kaius. It seemed that way, while his body was still tense and lines of pain were carved into his perfect face, he was no longer screaming like he was being flayed alive.

I shuddered at the thought of what was happening inside his mind, knowing it wasn’t far from the truth, and making a decision I hoped would work.

Sinking to my knees by his side I gently lifted the mattress, sliding my hand underneath and hiding the pendant, hoping its influence would soon kick in—as much as was possible without it being around his neck. The anger that had fuelled me melted away, replaced by a despair that hollowed out my chest, and left me empty as I prayed to Suri that it would be enough.

I sat back on the hard floor, leaning my head back against the mattress. I couldn’t be here when he woke, but I couldn’t leave him yet. I would stay. I failed at taking his pain away, so I would bear witness to it. Ensure he was never alone while he shouldered it, even if he never knew.

67

CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

KAIUS

Daylight was still hours away, not even a glimmer of dawn bleeding through the greenery that consumed my windows as I woke. The distinct thickness of a nightmare clung to me, its presence a dull ache that seeped into my bones, reigniting the pain simmering just below the surface.

Pulling in steadying breaths, I propped myself against the headboard waiting for the pain to work itself from my body. For the shadows within me to chase it away, they were my safe place. I tried to force my mind into order, listing poisonous plants in alphabetical order.

Aconitum, Belladonna, Bloodroot.

The nights had been steadily growing worse, the horror of my dreams only aiding the memories that would press into my mind at the most inconvenient fucking times. Yesterday, I had been halfway through ripping out someone’s fingernails only for my mind to try and convince me that my arms were burning in cursed flames.

The hunt was still on for whoever had sent Elodie’s attacker into the palace, except now I was handing the reins to my unit. Not that they knew that yet; they would find out the same as everyone else I was gone.

Cerbera Odollom, Datura, Henbane.

Scrubbing a hand over my face in an attempt to drive away the lingering sleep and memories I didn’t want to recall, I wished I was waking up in a different bed. Under different sheets where the scent of spiced honey found me even in my dreams.

Because when I was with her, that’s what they were—dreams. Not nightmares.

I wanted to bathe in the smell of her, roll around in her bed like a fucking dog until it coated my skin. I didn’t understand where this obsession with her began, but I wasn’t ready for it to end.

From the first moment I saw her, half naked yet willing to fight two men who had broken into her home, I had wanted her. The challenge in her eyes more than enough to catch my interest, and I couldn’t deny seeing the power she could wield, how she stood up to Bastian, had me lying awake with my dick in my hand more than once.

Now, that had grown into something I couldn’t put into words. A need within me that had nothing to do with getting my hands on her body and everything to do withher.

There was no comfort in knowing that what kept my nightmares at bay would be the exact thing I was preparing to walk away from.

Waking up next to Elodie after sleeping beside her soft, warm body, had been the most rested I’d ever been. Even with the pendant Bastian had gotten made for me, I had never slept so soundly as I had with her. So completely.

It was addicting.

It might never to happen again.

I knew there was a connection between us, the way that my whole being was drawn to her, desperate to be near her. I was certain she felt it, too.

Maybe I should have told her what I was going to do. She wasn’t aware of the cost to me, didn’t know about my past. I could have convinced her I was getting her help, that I was only going away for a while.

Yeah, going away to have your bones cracked open and darkness poured inside.

Closing my eyes on a sigh, I knew my choice wasn’t going to be taken well—not by Bastian. He knew the most about what had happened to me, had seen how damaged I really was while trying his hardest to put me back together.

Incaendium had been the most logical place my parents could send me, as the connections between our kingdoms ran deep, and Bastian and I had been entwined in each other’s lives long before I was sent here.

I already had control of the dark power that was forced into me by the time I arrived.

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