Page 106 of Off The Ice

“Besides, it probably did you more harm than good. I doubt it’ll be good for your game.” My voice sounded higher-pitched than normal.

He drew back. “My game?”

“Yeah,” I said, fighting the jealousy that arose in my chest that I didn’t have a right to feel. “It’s going to be harder now that everyone thinks we’re together.”

“We are together.” He looked down at our entangled bodies swaying in dance.

“You know what I mean,” I said, blushing. “They think we’re a couple.”

“That was the point,” he said, looking affronted.

“Right. I just meant if youwantedto talk to women, it would be harder now,” I said.

“I don’t want to talk to any women,” he said tightly.

Right. Of course he didn’t. I was so stupid. Part of me had been subconsciously fishing for him to admit something, anything, to make me feel like whatever was going on between us wasn’t entirely in my head.

But the look on his face and his words reminded me that Liam Brynn was more than content being on his own.

I bit my lip, forcing myself to stop talking before I humiliated myself further.

“What about you?” he asked after a moment. “Are you over…” He trailed off, unwilling to finish.

“Dave?” I asked with a giggle. “It’s okay. You can say his name. He’s not Voldemort.”

“I’d rather not.” He grimaced. “The name leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“You’re so dramatic.” I rolled my eyes at him. “You don’t even know him.”

Liam looked off in the distance, watching the other couples. I followed his gaze, noticing for the first time how many women were eyeing Liam.

I clung tighter to his neck.

“So, are you?” he asked again when he finally looked back at me. “Over him?”

I thought about it, feeling awful as the truth settled over me.

“I think I’ve been over him a long time,” I admitted with a sigh. “I don’t know if I was ever fully invested, if I’m being honest. It was more like… the idea ofsomeonethat kept me there. I’ve always wanted someone to be mine and mine alone. But I don’t think he ever really was.”

In the same way, I was never really his.

Liam nodded, mulling it over.

“But you were still going to stay with him?” he asked, brows drawn in confusion.

I knew he wouldn’t understand how screwed up I was. How I probably had a myriad of abandonment issues on top of some sort of codependency that I hadn’t yet acknowledged. But I couldn’t bear for him to think less of me, so I tried to explain as honestly as I could.

“I don’t think I realized it until I was out of it,” I started, trying to find the words. “I think I was so wrapped up in getting to the future I wanted for myself — that I didn’t bother to take a look at the person I was building that with.” I looked up to him for confirmation. “Does that make sense?”

“You wouldn’t ever take him back, would you?” he asked, suddenly grave.

“I hope not,” I admitted.

He turned as still as stone underneath my touch.

“What do you mean ‘you hope not?’”

“Sometimes I’m scared of being alone,” I said. “Sometimes being with the wrong person is better than being with no one at all.”

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