Page 149 of Off The Ice

“Liam, breathe. She’s fine,” Maggie said.

“How do you know?” he asked.

“Because she’s here.”

“Thank fuck,” he muttered, relief flooding his voice. “Let me see her—”

“No.” Maggie stopped, and from the slight crack, I could see her moving in front of the door. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

“Don’t say that,” Liam said, breathing out as if it hurt to do so.

“Just give her a little space. I’m sure she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.”

“All her stuff is gone, Maggie!” Liam shouted. “She moved out! And you’re telling me I can’t talk to her? What happened?” His voice broke at the end.

“I don’t know, Liam,” she replied, sounding on the verge of breaking herself. “She hasn’t told me anything.”

“Please, just let me talk to her. I can fix this if I talk to her,” he pleaded, and I felt agony rip through me that I was the cause of it.

“It was always supposed to be temporary, Liam.” Maggie sighed. “Remember?”

“No.” Liam’s response was raw and guttural.

“No?” Maggie responded.

“It can’t be. I—” he started and stopped. “I fucking love her, Maggie. You have to let me see her.”

The breath left my lungs as a pain I’d never known settled securely around me. Did he mean that? Did he really love me, and I’d left him like that?

For a second, I thought she was going to give in and open the door for him, but a moment passed, and her voice responded so quietly I could barely hear it.

“I can’t. I’m sorry, Liam.”

I wiped the tears that were streaming down my face when I realized she was crying, too.

What had I done to the two best people in my life? I’d ruined everything, like I always do. I was so scared of rejection that I ran off before I’d give anyone the chance to deliver it.

“Just tell me she’s okay, then,” he said, and I wanted to run to him more than anything.

“She’s okay. She just needs time,” Maggie said.

“Time for what?”

“Maybe to realize that you aren’t going anywhere?” Maggie offered, and a sob came out of me.

Was that true? Did this man outside the door really love me, and I’d upped and left him because I was scared of something that hadn’t even happened?

He deserved better than me. He deserved someone who knew how to love him properly. Not me, saddled with anxiety and guilt and coping mechanisms that only hurt the people around me.

I couldn’t be what he needed. And he’d realize it sooner than later.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said adamantly. “Tell her that.”

“I think she knows already,” Maggie said. “She just needs time to trust it.”

Before I could hear anything else that broke my heart further, I slipped into Maggie’s room and cried.

Liam

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