Page 162 of Off The Ice

“Hi,” he said, standing up.

“Hi.” I smiled back.

Part of my heart was broken that I didn’t have the power to change my mother. But if I had stayed in that cycle, I would never get to experience the rest of what my life could be like without her. What it could be like with him, if he let me.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be.” I nodded, knowing that even if nothing happened the way I wanted, I could at least know in my heart that I tried my best.

I couldn’t control her. I couldn’t control what happened with Liam. I could only control me. And somehow, it was freeing.

“I’m scared,” I admitted to him.

He waited, letting me go on, eyes burning into mine.

“I’m scared because I don’t know what’s going to happen here.” I gestured between us. “And that’s a really scary thing. I can’t control what happens. I can’t control how you feel about me or if you’ll ever stop.”

“I won’t,” he cut in, and I loved him for it, but I kept going, knowing I needed to say everything in my heart if we were going to move forward together.

He needed to know me. To understand the way my brain operated. The fears I harbored about losing everything I loved. Of not being able to control the outcomes.

“Honestly, Liam,” I breathed out, trying to find the words. “The way I feel about you scares me more than anything because if it goes wrong, I don’t know if I have it in me to recover from that. It’s almost easier to not get you at all than to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, baby.” His hand came up to cradle my face again, and I sank into it. “Do you know why? BecauseI’mnot going to let myself loseyou.”

My heart cracked clean open. I was done for.

“Can I tell you something?” I whispered, heart thudding wildly.

“Anything. Everything. Whatever you want,” he spoke quickly, words tumbling out of him in rapid succession.

I stood on my tiptoes, leaning up toward his ear, knowing I’d only have the courage to whisper the confession to him.

“I’m completely in love with you,” I admitted, hearing nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat sounding through my ears.

Liam went still underneath me, rigid as a statue, and I wondered if I was wrong. If maybe he liked me, but my feelings were too fast, too soon for him to be on board with.

But I couldn’t take it back. It was the truth, and I wasn’t going to lie to myself anymore. Not about anything.

But then, miraculously, his hands clamped down around my waist, and he picked me up until my feet weren’t on the floor but spinning around as he twirled me in his grip.

“Thank fucking God for that.” He exhaled like he’d never breathed before and then slammed his lips against mine until I was consumed by Liam and love and whatever magic had brought this moment to me.

When his lips finally broke from mine, and my eyes finally opened, I stared into his green ones that looked like they’d just seen sunlight for the first time.

“Because I can’t live another day of my life without telling you how absolutely and totally in love with you I am.”

Everything inside of me malfunctioned at that, as if my lungs suddenly forgot how to breathe, my heart forgot how to beat.

Was it true? Was he being honest?

I could never be sure, but I could learn how to trust. To do the thing I’d been scared of doing for so long.

And part of that started with me.

“I want to be yours,” I admitted, even though it was scary to ask for what I wanted. “And I want you to be mine.”

“Baby.” He laughed as if it were the funniest request in the world. “I’ve been yours the whole time.”

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