Page 57 of Off The Ice

“You haven’t?” she asked. “He was looking for you earlier. Where are you?”

He was looking for me?

“I’m at the library, printing out apartment listings.” I got a glare from a librarian who held a finger to her lips at the volume of my words. “But I’m leaving now.”

“Well, could you do me a huge favor and go find him?” Maggie’s voice was riddled with anxiety in a way I seldom heard. “I mean, I know he’s probably fine and everything, but he gets more upset about things than he lets on. I just want to make sure he’s not doing anything self-destructive, you know?”

I bit my lip, wanting to see him so badly while at the same time feeling like he’d view it as an intrusion.

I said as much to Maggie. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’m the right person to go see him if he’s upset. I’m already intruding on every other aspect of his life.” I shuffled toward the front door, shoving the papers in my bag and not caring if they crumbled. “Shouldn’t I be giving him space if he’s in a mood?”

“No!” Maggie cried out helplessly. “Look, I sort of set him off, and I’m not going to forgive myself until you find him and let meknow he’s alright. Please, just call me when you get home and let me know if he’s there.”

“I will,” I promised, a sudden urgency to my step.

Liam might not need me right now, but some part of me needed him.Just to see if he was all right, I told myself, then I’d leave him alone.

Chapter Twenty

Liam

When I was on the ice, everything stopped.

The pressure, the noise, the relentless pounding of my own thoughts in my skull. It all sort of faded into a dull buzz.

It was still there, of course. But it was easier to turn that feeling into something I could use as fuel. To propel me forward, rather than something I had to sit around and take.

It was funny, going to the ice to avoid thoughts of my father when he was the one who taught me how to lace up my skates, hold a stick, and get out there in the first place.

Sometimes, I wondered if I’d become so good just to spite him. Sometimes I wondered if I’d be here at all if he hadn’t walked out. Maybe I’d just be another normal, well-adjusted guy who had a good relationship with his parents, working in a cubicle somewhere.

I guessed if I ever saw him again, I might as well thank him for being a shitty father. He had, after all, landed me in the NHL.

I leaned into the shot and sent the puck soaring across the ice, nearly taking our goalie’s head off in the process.

He called me a less-than-stellar name, but I didn’t care. I had to stay moving. It was like if I skated fast enough, hit hard enough, then the thoughts couldn’t keep up with me.

Coach blew the whistle, signaling the end of practice, and I found myself regretting it. Off the ice, it wasn’t as easy to hide from all the shit threatening to consume me.

“Hey, you good, man?” Brody’s voice sounded as he skated up beside me.

“I’m fine,” I bit out.

“Uh, maybe try that again,” Brody said, eyeing me. “Because you’ve been like a machine out there tonight. And you know, normally, that’s great for a hockey player. But as your friend? Kind of concerning. You hit the ice, and it’s like all traces of human emotion just vanished.”

“So?”

“So, it’s not good to bottle shit up, man. It makes you get all weird and prone to outbursts.”

I scoffed. “I don’t have outbursts.”

“Well, not yet, but that’s why I’m nervous. What if you let all that stuff in your head fester for so long that you go crazy and kill someone? Then their blood will be on my hands because I’m your best friend, and I didn’t step in to intervene.”

“The only person I’m at risk of killing is you.” I shook my head at his ludicrous reasoning.

“You can’t kill me.” He placed a gloved hand on his chest as we made our way off the ice. “I’m your future brother-in-law.”

I raised a brow at him in question. “Is my sister aware of this?”

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