Page 48 of Country Road Romance

As Charlie’s breathing grew slower and slower with sleep, Jared tried to get his body to do the same. No matter how hard he tried, though, it refused to cooperate. He simply couldn’t unwind enough–and his thoughts wouldn’t slow down enough–for him to get to sleep.

Figures,he thought.I finally get some of the best sex that I’ve had in…well, probably ever…and then I can’t sleep.

The reason wasn’t really that complicated. The sex with Charlie might have been mind-blowing, but his mentioning of dating had forced Jared to really think about what it was that they were doing. Were they, in fact, dating? What would that even look like, considering their different circumstances? This wasn’t a fairy tale or a rom-com, after all. There were very real consequences and material conditions that had to be taken into account. They couldn’t just coast along on vibes and good wishes and hope that everything would work out okay in the end. That just wasn’t how real life worked.

Was it?

He fought down the urge to toss and turn like he usually would. He really did enjoy the closeness to Charlie. There was a way that their bodies meshed together that he didn’t think he’dever experienced with another person. At the same time as it made him feel complete and whole, however, it also frightened him. When you got close to someone like that, it was only a matter of time before they found a way to hurt you.

Jared’s breaths were starting to come faster and faster, and his thoughts were starting to race so much he knew he was going to have a full-on anxiety attack if he didn’t calm down.

Take deep breaths, Jared. Deep breaths.

He finally managed to get himself back under control, and he could think clearly again.

It was better to just enjoy what they had and let it go at that. After this weekend they would each go their separate ways, back to their regular lives. They could remember this as a particularly nice interlude in both of their lives, a rare opportunity to really connect with someone out of their social circles.

See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?

It hurt a little to admit that all of this was just going to be temporary, but Jared had always tried to live life as it was rather than what he wanted it to be, and he took a perverse sort of comfort from hurting his own feelings like this.

And with that, he finally let himself drift off to sleep.

Jared wokeup just before dawn. Looking over at Charlie he could see that he was still fast asleep, his chest rising and falling with his even breathing. He felt his heart swelling with…well, he didn’t want to say it was love because they’d only known each other for a few days…but even so, it was something more than just affection.

He reached out and picked up his phone to see what time it was. He knew that his parents were still early-risers and, while his dad had basically given Charlie permission to seduce him in his old bedroom–and that wasstillweird–he thought theremight be a difference between his parents approving of such a thing in the abstract and actually seeing their son in bed with another man.

Moving quickly and quietly, he managed to get out of bed and slip into his clothes. He was tempted to plant a parting kiss on Charlie’s forehead but decided against it. Instead he tiptoed out of the bedroom and made his way back to the guest room and slipped inside. He had no way of knowing whether his mother had decided to look in on him during the night (as she had a tendency of doing whenever he was home), but he really hoped she hadn’t. He didn’t want to have to feel embarrassed at the breakfast table.

Jared got into bed, but it was quickly clear that he wasn’t going to get any more sleep, so he just lay there staring at the ceiling, trying not to think of anything in particular.

Not long after, he heard the rustle and clatter as the dogs woke up first, followed by his parents. He closed his eyes and just let himself enjoy the homely sound of them moving through the house, his mother uttering a few choice words for the dogs (the morning was really the only time she was ever really grumpy). It all took him back to his childhood, and there was a comfort and a pleasure in that.

Soon enough, he heard his mother’s footsteps outside the guest bedroom, and then she was knocking gently.

“Jared, sweetie, are you awake?” she asked.

He debated pretending to still be asleep, but then he figured that, since he wasn’t going to get any more sleep anyway, he might as well just admit to being awake and get the day started.

“Yeah, I’m awake,” he said. “I’ll be right down.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll start making breakfast. “How do waffles sound?”

“They sound great, mom!” he said.

There was another pause on the other side of the door.

“Would you mind telling Charlie that breakfast will be served in a little while? I don’t mind making another batch, but I thought he might like to have breakfast with the rest of us.”

Jared stifled a sigh. His mother was the master of making nagging sound like she was only thinking about you.

Be nice, Jared,he reminded himself.She’s been nothing but kind and welcoming to you and Charlie since you got here. The least you can do is not be snarky.

Summoning up all of his politeness, he said, “Of course, mom. I’ll see if he’s up.”

“Thank you!” she chirped, and then she was gone.

In his experience sex–particularly good sex–always changed things, and not always for the better. The longer he put off waking up Charlie, the longer he could put off avoiding what that change would look like.

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