Page 115 of All Your Firsts

“Oh… No fucking way.”

“I didn’t find out until the bitter end. He asked me questions about myself as if he didn’t already know, and my stupid ass was more than willing to answer them.” I shake my head at my idiocy.

“Why didn’t he just tell you from the start?”

“The night Gage dropped me off, he literally threw a girl on the bed I was sleeping in by mistake. He said he knew he lost me then.”

“What a stupid excuse. He could’ve still told you.”

“Yep.”

“So, what now?”

“I don’t know. My heart fucking hurts. I fell for him hard, and the scars from his betrayal still burn.”

“I’m so sorry, Ro,” Alexa says.

“Do you think there’s a chance you can forgive him?” Jenna asks.

I think about it for a second.Do I forgive him? Can I forgive him for the lies?The feeling of his arms wrapped around me still clings to my memory. It felt so good, so right.

Like home.

Hefeels like home.

From the top of the highest mountain, my heart screams yes, while my brain still struggles to process the feelings of betrayal.

“Part of me already has, but that doesn’t change the fact that Gage is trying to marry me off to someone. What does it matter?”

“We can fix that. You won’t do anything you don’t want to. I won’t allow it,” Alexa says with so much conviction in her eyes I almost feel hopeful.

But the fact of the matter is, I’m unsafe by myself.

If the bar incident and the kidnapping attempt taught me anything, it’s that I can’t survive on my own while my father is still breathing.

He won’t let one of his pieces go.

“Okay, enough doom and gloom. This calls for more wine and a song change,” Jenna says as she rushes for more refreshments.

A weight lifts from my shoulders as I finish telling Alexa and Jenna my story. It still hurts, and I still feel lost, but the feeling is less heavy.

“Your turn,” I say with a pat on her thigh.

Alexa goes into minor details about my brother Gage, as I think the rest are too private, and I’m grateful for not having to hear about my brother’s sex life. However, from what I’ve heard, I’m pretty disappointed in him.

He hid his identity from her, much like Vic did to me. But the betrayal is twice as bad since Alexa and Gage have had a relationship since birth. We all grew up together. We formed bonds at a very young age and are family, even if not by blood. She not only thought of him as a best friend but also more, from what I hear in her drunken ramblings and tears.

If he would have told her who he was right away, she would have embraced him immediately. His leaving hurt her just as much as it hurt me. If not more.

The bottom line is that the guys are idiots, and there’s no reason for all the secrecy.

By the end of our bottles, we vow to buy an island and ban all men. We will allow only women. Wine will be on tap, unless it’s Sunday, then we switch to mimosas, obviously. It’s a solid plan, and something I’m truly contemplating.

Jenna has no man to complain about but decides to be mad at Gage since he inadvertently ruined her night.

“You guys don’t understand. They sounded hot.” Jenna fans herself like she’s overheating.

“They could’ve been complete gargoyles under those masks... just saying,” Alexa says, pointing her chopsticks at her.

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