Page 42 of All Your Firsts

“Jae and Trey?”

“Exactly.”

“You’re fucking weird.”

“All I hear is a compliment,” Trey says.

We might be at each other’s throats sometimes, but once a week, we come together for our long-standing tradition that dates back to our preteen years. It hasn’t always been poker as it is now. As we’ve grown, it evolved into a safer alternative for the five of us psychos who used to spend this sacred day causing havoc by tagging, fighting, stealing, and partying. Although we still partake in some. It’s kept us all close through all the bullshit. Now we bet large amounts of money while smoking blunts and shooting the shit. Even Trey and Ax wave their white flags for the night and leave it to healthy competition.

Strolling in with an air of excitement, our newest member, Samuel, joins our night for the first time. After years of relentless begging, Ax conceded and allowed him to join us, considering he’s recently patched in.

The memory of his smile is etched in my mind as they removed his prospect patch and unanimously voted him in as a new member. It probably mirrored the same one I had on my face when I was a teen and got mine, only to lose it a week later.

My luck fucking sucks.

My mood sours until I think about Rosie for the millionth time today. I still can’t get the feel of her off me. Not that I want to. But I should. That’s why this night is perfect. The guys keep my mind occupied so I don’t do something stupid like break down her door and go for round two.

My chair creaks as I tilt it back and look up at her window on the second story through the blinds of the guesthouse.

I haven’t spoken to her since running out of her room. I need to figure out my shit.

The first thing I felt that night was relief. I finally gave in to my urges and desires. Then, a form of contentment washed over me as her hand rubbed my head while she was in her post-orgasm daze. Then, the regret kicked in. Thewhat the fuck am I doing?This can’t happentype of regret. She’s not just some chick I can fuck, then ghost like all the others. I felt like a real piece of shit for humping my best friend’s sister when I promised I’d stay away from her, and even more so for leaving her confused as hell with a hurt look in her eyes.

Judging by her letter to Rush, it’s safe to say she’s pissed at the moment. The letter was supposed to give me some insight into her mind and her time here. Maybe she would even talk about me? But I went and fucked it up on both sides. This is all a confusing clusterfuck.

None of this was supposed to happen.

It wasn’t supposed to go that far.

It wasn’t supposed to go as far as a kiss, but then she did the unthinkable and leaned in for it. She wanted the kiss just as bad as I did.

The thought of getting her riled up and begging for more only to leave her hanging has gone through my head multiple times since she’s been here, especially when she gives me shit and tries to drive me crazy.

But then she leaned in and wanted me.Me.Not the me from our letters, but the me who stood in front of her with all my fucked-up parts. Then, she came, and I couldn’t help but follow her off the edge. I came in my pants like a fucking teenager. That was a first. The guys would laugh their asses off if they got ahold of this information.

I can’t help but go back to the dazed look on her face as she came down from her high. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. Her hair was a tangled mess around her face, and her lips turned swollen and red from our kissing.

“Yo, Vic, it’s your turn.”

My chair legs hit the floor with a thump and I shake my head. I’m going to drive myself fucking mad if I don’t stop this shit.

“You got time for me this week?” Trey asks. “I have a piece I’ve been thinking about.”

“You have room left?”

“Only on my dick. Should take a couple of weeks to finish.”

“More like minutes,” Ax comments.

“Alright, motherfucker.” Trey’s chair scrapes across the floor as he stands and unbuckles his pants.

“For the love of God, keep your fuckin’ pants on. We’ve seen your dick enough,” Marcus mutters.

“I can squeeze you in. Just get me an ounce of whatever this is.” I pass him back his blunt, the relaxed, euphoric feeling hitting me like a fucking train.

“It came from one of my rooms. Been the best run I’ve had in a minute. I’ll bring you a P.”

“We’re planning to go for a ride next weekend if you’re down,” Julian says as he puts his cards down.

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