Page 55 of All Your Firsts

Run away

Find a new cute town to live in

Pierce my belly button

Get a tattoo

Find a way to feel like I’m flying

Bungee jump

Paint somewhere beautiful

Get a boyfriend

Make out at a drive-in

Go on the most romantic date ever

Lose my virginity

I can see the progression of her penmanship change and improve through her list, just as it did over the years in the letters she wrote to me.

This list started young. It started off simple. Most of these being something I did as a teen or younger.

The only time I ever felt close to flying was when I rode my bike. Bungee jumping can fuck off. I hate heights. The boyfriend part is a definite no. So are making out at the drive-in or going on the most romantic date ever. What is it with women and romance? And then it ends with a bang. Literally.

When I read that earlier, I was taken aback, and it has been on my mind nonstop. A fucking virgin. I suspected, but I wasn’t positive.

That will definitely not get crossed off anytime soon.

I look down at her and think about today. The look on her face as she pulled out her list and her anticipation at crossing it off play on my mind on repeat.

To her, this is more than just a checklist. It’s a list of all her firsts, and I can’t deny the selfish urge to have her experience them all with me, then watch the happiness bloom across her face as she crosses them off her list.

Her phone rings, signaling an incoming text. I don’t hesitate to grab her phone. I’ve already invaded her privacy. What’s one more boundary being crossed at this point?

I tap on the text notification that has Alexa’s name across the screen. Rosie’s best friend and the center of Gage’s universe. He spoke about her constantly. He asked if I had someone, and I didn’t, until his sister, but it’s not like I could tell him that. So I made someone up since I went from having no letters to having at least one a week. It was the only way for me to prevent himfrom suspecting, or worse, reading my letters, which were purely platonic but still backstabbing.

I yearned for friendship and the thought of having someone care about me more than anything else. The sexual part didn’t start until later, and it just burned brighter as time went on.

The text message thread opens immediately, which means Rosie is comfortable enough not to have a passcode on her phone. This is knowledge I’ll shelve because it might be useful later.

She sure as hell won’t tell me anything, but I know damn well she’ll tell her friend.

I take my finger and scroll to the top of the text thread. It appears to be dated to right after she first got here.

Alexa

How are you doing with Mr. Ugly? Any freedom yet?

Ugly? What the fuck?

Rosie

Nope. Still an asshole dictator.

Alexa

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