Page 80 of All Your Firsts

What little breath I’m able to gather from the glove over my mouth is coming in ragged as the thoughts of hopelessness kick in. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. My hands are numb but tingly, and my vision is going into a black tunnel.Please don’t let this happen now.Jess is still unconscious, or worse, so I need to stay awake.

As we approach the black paneled van, I desperately fight back, kicking and thrashing with all my strength. I’m praying it will grant us enough time for Vic and Axl to find us.

All the horror stories kick in like a grotesque slideshow, reminding me of our likelihood of getting out alive once we’re moved somewhere else. It’s almost nonexistent, especially on the off chance that this isn’t my father’s doing.

My captor pulls on my hair even harder, and I emit a silent scream as more tears gather in my eyes.

The guy holding Jess throws her in the back of the van and advances on us to help the guy holding me. They both take an arm, leaving my mouth exposed. I try to scream but can’t.

It’s like being in one of those dreams where you try to run, but you can’t.

You try to scream, but you can’t.

You try to wake up, but you can’t.

I’m stuck in this state that I can’t get out of as tears leak from my eyes at what’s to come for me and my friend.

They throw me into the back of the metal van with a hard thud. I scream as my wrist cracks from landing at an odd angle while trying to catch myself. A burning and throbbing pain radiates from my wrist to my elbow.

As soon as they slam the van’s doors shut, I crawl to Jess’s unmoving body.

I grab her shoulder and turn her over onto her back. A cut on her forehead is oozing blood, and she also has a bloody nose.

“I’m so sorry, Jess. Please wake up,” I whisper repeatedly.

Tears run down my face as I succumb to sobs. I place my hand over her chest and feel her heartbeat and the rise and fall of each breath she takes.

This is all my fault.

The van begins to move, and I know we’re fucked.

Tears continue to slide down my cheeks as I think about the past couple of weeks.

Running away was never a mistake.

Staying in this town, even though I wanted to flee, was never a mistake.

I made friends, got a job, crossed off firsts.

Met Vic.

It was all worth it, and at least I have that.

I wish I could have said thank you.

I wish I could have said goodbye.

I wish I could have kissed Vic just one more time.

Eighteen

Rosie

Icount the turns as the van careens around corners. Right, left, right, then straight for around seventeen minutes before right, and then left? It all becomes a blur.

The silence is abruptly interrupted as a phone rings loudly, piercing through the metal partition that divides the front and back. A sickeningly deep voice fills the air, making my stomach turn. “You have her?” my father asks.

“Yes, and her friend.”

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