Page 1 of Please Don't Leave Me

Prologue

LOUISA

“I need to tell you about the time I tried to kill myself,” I say in a hushed and embarrassed tone, knowing full well he knows nothing of what I'm about to tell him. This conversation has been weighing heavy on my mind for months now, but I need to tell him. No more waiting.

I'm holding my breath for what seems like minutes, waiting for him to respond. In reality, it's probably only been a couple of seconds.

He sits up a little straighter. “Okay.”

He pauses, waiting for me to continue. But I can't seem to get the words out.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he reassures me.

My body heats like a furnace, and I can feel the sweat running down my sides. The baggy sweatshirt I’m wearing does nothing to soak it up.

"Well, I don't particularly want to, but I think it's important for you to fully know what you're getting into with me.

"I'm all ears, Lou."

I take a deep breath that almost makes my lungs explode and let it back out. Lifting my glass to my lips, I take a sip of my drink, letting it burn on my tongue for a moment before swallowing.

I start at the beginning...

Chapter One

ONE YEAR EARLIER

LOUISA

I walk through a sterile feeling hallway lined with cages, waiting for one of them to speak to me. Not that I expect a dog to literally speak to me but in a metaphorical sense. I've never adopted a pet before, and all of a sudden, I'm feeling the pressure to choose the right one and hoping they’ll choose me back.

"Hey, little cutie patootie. What about this one over here, Lou?"

My sister insisted on coming with me today to pick out, in her words, her niece or nephew. I guess she's just as nervous about me making the wrong choice as I am. Then again, B doesn't get nervous about anything.

I've never known someone as confident and carefree as my little sister. Briella, who solely goes by B, is younger than me, and we could not be more opposite. As kids, it caused us to fight non-stop. But eventually, we got old enough to realize we were on the same team. We've been close ever since.

"I told you, I don't want a little ankle biter."

"But just look at that face." She leans down to where the dog is trying to lick her through the cage and gives me huge puppy dog eyes.

"No, I want a bigger dog that won't scream at the door every time one of my neighbors is in the hallway."

"Fine." She gives up and walks down the hallway to where I stand in front of a cage holding a black lab wagging its tail so hard it knocks over its water bowl. "You're so boring."

"I'm being practical." Before I continue walking, I tug on her long lavender braid slung over her shoulder. B has had colored hair since she was fourteen. I still remember the first time she dyed it.

She came with me to get groceries and snuck a box of hair dye into the cart without me noticing. An hour later, our mom ran into our bathroom after hearing screams to find B crying. She had left the bleach in for too long, and it burned her scalp. At that point, my mother, bless her heart, wasn't going to make her go to school with yellow bleached hair, so she helped her with the rest of the coloring. That blue hair made her stand out like a sore thumb at our small private high school. But B did not give two shits about what people thought of her, and she still doesn't.

A worker comes in to check on us. "Let me know if you find one you like, and I can put them in our meet-and-greet room for you."

"Actually, I do have a question about this guy." I point to the old-looking, full-size doodle mix in front of me. "It says here he's ten years old. Any idea why he was given up at such an old age? He seems so chill."

"Are you looking at Pepin?" Her face lights up as she jogs down the hall to where we stand. "Apparently, thefamily was having their seventh kid or something like that, and they didn't have time for him."

B mumbles under her breath and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, because six children arewaymore manageable than seven. Damn rabbits."

As Pepin and I stare at each other, something in me feels drawn to him.

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