Page 23 of Please Don't Leave Me

It’s different with Lou, though. I’m excited about her, and I’m worried she’s going to stop talking tome. I need to keep this game going so I can learn more about her, and so she’ll keep talking to me.

I throw on some jeans and a plain black T-shirt, brush my teeth, and throw on a hat since I’m just running down the road to Target. My curls are a little unruly if I don’t wash them and put product in my hair. Growing up, I used to always keep my hair cut short because I didn’t know how to manage my frizzy curls, nor did I care to. Eventually, my younger brother Quinn forced me to grow them out and taught me how to take care of them. He made me buy products and even wrote out the order in which I needed to use them. I don’t need to reference the guide anymore, but it still takes time. And on days when I’m too lazy, I just throw on a hat.

I hop in my pickup and pull out of the driveway. The neighbor kids are playing in a big pile of leaves, and it makes me smile. I remember when my brothers and I were little, we would bury each other in leaf piles and try to scare our mom. We never dared try to scare Dad; he always had a short fuse. Correction:hasa short fuse. He beat Jacob, my older brother, one time for pulling a confetti popper in the house. And the memory that started off happy turneddark. That tends to happen when I reminisce about my childhood.

My dad is a corporate lawyer, so I grew up in an upper-class family. Joel Carlyle. What a fucking dick. My parents divorced when I was in middle school, and it couldn’t have happened soon enough. I’m a firm believer that “staying together for the kids” is a load of crap. If you hate each other, split up so your kids don’t have to witness your train wreck of a marriage for too long.

Jacob had it the worst, though. He ended up having to care for my mother when my dad left; she was a wreck. He became the “man of the house” at the ripe age of 14. And no matter how responsible he had to be at mom’s house, he was still treated like a little kid when we went to visit Joel.

Before I know it, I’m in the Target parking lot. I quickly run inside, find the game section, and check out. When I get home, I tear open the package and open the little red box. I open the packs of cards labeled Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3.

Lou has been asking me questions from the Level 1 deck. I wanted to buy it so I could contribute to the game and ask her more questions. I crave talking to her, and any excuse to continue it, I’m in. I could tell she didn’t want to dive into whatever insecurity she was referring to last night, so I won’t push it. She can tell me when she’s ready.

I shuffle the Level 2 deck and draw one from the top.

Chapter Eight

LOUISA

My phone buzzes on my desk, the notification says I got a message on the dating app. I hope it’s Sam. I was too nervous to message him first after I cut him off last night and didn’t answer his question.

Sam

What title would you give this chapter in your life?

Last night, I browsed through the Level 2 cards to see if they were too intense to ask Sam. I recognize this as one of them.

Lou

Did you go buy the cards last night?

Sam

No.

I went this morning. I didn’t want you to be doing all the heavylifting here.

Lou

That’s so cute, Sam.

Sam

Chapter title?

Lou

Oh, right! I would probably call it ‘Learning to let go’. But I’m still in the very beginning of that chapter.

Sam

Learning to let go is a really hard thing.

Anything in particular you’re trying to let go of?

Lou

Nothing specific. I’m a little high-strung, so I’ve been learning to just go with the flow more and let things happen in my life, even if it’s not a part of my plan.

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