Page 25 of Please Don't Leave Me

That must take an incredible amount of patience.

Lou

She is the most patient person I’ve ever met.

Well, maybe tied with my dad. That super power must have skipped a generation because my sister and I have none.

Sam

I don’t know how to respond to that without implicating myself.

Lou

Smart man.

SAM

“How do I ask her out on a date?” I hand Quinn a box of screws and hold the board level.

He grabs a few out and fastens the shelf to the wall. “Just fucking ask, man.”

“We’ve been talking for a week now. If she wanted to go out with me, she probably would have said something by now, right?”

“She’s probably saying the same thing about you, idiot.”

Quinn always makes everything seem so easy. Just because he goes on 2 dates a week doesn’t mean the rest of us have his level of game. But he has a point. Neither Lou nor I have really done this online dating thing before.

“Well, I don’t know the rules.”

He drops the drill down on the counter and turns toward me. “There isn’t a set of rules, Sam. You like the girl, right?”

I nod, a little embarrassed. “Yeah.”

“Then ask the girl on a damn date! The worst she can do is say no.”

I hate when he’s right. “What should I even-“

“Give me your phone!” He grabs me and starts feeling my pockets for my phone. I try pivoting and backing away from him, but he easily corners me in the small bathroom. He eventually gets a hold of it and runs out to the dining room, distancing himself from me on the other side of the table.

“Quinn, don’t you dare!”

“What’s your password? 1234?”

I run around the table, and he maintains the distance.

“Dude, you need to change your password. You’ve clearly never had a nosy girlfriend.”

“Shut up. Give it to me, Quinn. I’m serious.”

LOUISA

“What does one wear on a first date to an apple orchard?”

It’s 6:00pm in London right now, and B is getting ready to go to a work dinner while I get ready for my first date with Sam. I asked her to FaceTime me because I’m freaking out.

“Are you planning to get laid?”

“At the apple orchard? Seriously, B.”

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