Page 41 of Please Don't Leave Me

Her voice cuts through the ringing for a second. “Sam, did you hear me?”

I scream at the top of my lungs, my throat shredding, and I throw my phone at the unfinished wall as hard as I can. I hear it crack, and then everything goes black.A searing pain shoots through my knees and palms, and I realize I’m on the ground.

My face is wet, and I know I’m crying, but I can’t process it. All I can think is that this can’t be happening.

“No. No. NO. NO! NOOOO!”

I slam my fist into the wood floor, and a sensation shoots up my arm that I process as pain, but I barely feel it.

LOUISA

It’s been two days since Thanksgiving. B and I drove back to the city this morning. Sam hasn’t texted me back and I’m starting to worry that my telling him I wanted him to ask me on a second date was too bold. Did I scare him away?

I talked to B about it, and she said I should just text him, but I’m scared. I don’t want to seem too clingy. But I’m dying to know what’s going on.

After several drafts, I finally get one approved by B. I send the text, but he doesn’t respond till an hour later. That was the longest hour of my life.

Lou

I guess I can be the one to ask you on a second date; this is the 21st century, after all. Want to grab a drink sometime this week?

Sam

Hey, sorry I’ve been silent the last couple of days. I’ve had some family stuff come up and my phone broke. I’m really sorry, but I don’t think right now is a good time for me to be dating. It was really nice getting to know you, though.

What just happened? Did I just get dumped by someone I wasn’t even dating? I can’t decide if this is better or worse than being ghosted.

I’m sick to my stomach. I’m embarrassed.

“B…I think he just ended things with me?”

“What?” she shouts from the other room. In a matter of seconds, she’s in my room with a confused look on her face. “He what?”

I hold out my phone to her. “You read it. He doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

She plops on my bed and grabs my phone. Pepin trots in behind her and jumps up on the bed. He spins in a couple of circles before dropping down and laying his head in my lap. How does he always know when I need him?

“Yeah, he is definitely ending things.”

My eyes fill up with tears. “That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

She looks up from my phone with pity in her eyes. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings; I’m just telling you what’s going on. This shit happens, Lou.”

I look up at the ceiling, begging my tears to go away so one doesn’t fall. My mom always told me that if a tear doesn’t fall, it doesn’t count as crying. She mostly says that when we tease her for tearing up at every movie, even comedies. I think that rule applies here as well.

“I will not cry over another boy.”

“That’s my girl!” B slaps me on the shoulder, causing one of the tears to fall out of the outer corner of my eye and down to my ear. Damn it.

I lower my chin and look at her. I’m sure I look pathetic right now, but I can’t help it. I really liked him.

“You know what we’re going to do? I’m going to run to the store and get some supplies for a girl’s night.” She hopsoff the bed and runs out of my room. “I’ll be back soon! Pick out a few movies while I’m gone.”

Once I hear the front door slam shut and the lock click, I finally blink and let the rest of the tears fall down my face.

What did I do wrong? I thought everything was going really well. There’s no way that some family drama could be so big he can’t go grab a drink with me, right? And if something bad happened, he would have said so. No, I’m sure he’s just making excuses, trying not to hurt my feelings.

I stroke the top of Pepin’s head and scratch behind his ear. “Why do men suck so much, Pep? And why do I even bother crying over them anymore?”

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