Page 87 of Nanny for the Cowboy

Stopping my relentless pacing, I lean back against the wall a few feet from Clover’s door. This whole situation is so much more complicated than I understood.

I’m going behind my friend’s back by “dating” her, and I know that by even just messing around with Clover, I’m making her return to New York that much harder.

Who does that?

I never should have done this. Now I’m messing up Clover’s life. The last thing she needs is some charity case to throw a sympathy bone to. Jesus fuck, what did I do?

My stomach churns, with all these familiar thoughts of being less-than-worth someone’s time roaring their ugly head. I’ve been okay at ignoring them lately, but now?

They’re everywhere, dogging me at every turn.

“You knew this was temporary,” I whisper to myself. “Why did you do this to yourself? God, I’m just hurting both of us.”

And hurt it’s going to. Cloverisgoing to leave. Whether it’s to her dad’s house or all the way across the country, the woman I’m so utterly infatuated with is going to be leaving—soon.

As if my mind really wants to nail home the point, I look up and down the hall, my eyes finding the clock on the wall.

It’s ticking away, just tick, tick, ticking.

Our relationship—because I need to be honest and call it what it feels like—has an expiration date. It always did.

I wasn’t supposed to go and get attached like this. It was just supposed to be fun, but my chest literallyachesat the thought of never seeing Clover again.

“This is ridiculous. You need to go.”

Pushing off the wall, I walk past Clover’s room, intent on burying my face under a pillow and screaming until I pass out.

But the door swings open.

Faltering, I step backward quickly, met with Clover’s glowing smile. Her brow furrows and that smile turns into a smirk, a quiet laugh trapped behind her lips.

“What are you doing?”

“I…” For a moment, I just stare at her, my brain spinning lines in my head until I land on one that doesn’t sound too much like a lie. “I wanted to congratulate you. You did so good tonight during the performance.”

None of that is untrue. She did do incredible, and I do want Clover to know that I’m impressed by her skills.

“Oh, well…thanks, Brooks. I’ll admit,” Clover looks up wistfully, her smile lifting her right cheek, “I really missed singing for people. I felt more like myself.”

My chest is going to crack right open. Logical Brooks is yelling in my head that I need to leave, but dammit, I just smile back at her.

“I can tell. You light up when you’re on stage. It’s like…your entire being opens and pours out this golden light. Everyone there tonight could feel it.” I remember the bitches from the bar. “Well, everyone with taste.”

Her cheeks turn this adorable pink, and I find myself stepping forward—closer to her.

“You’re way too sweet.” Clover shakes her head. “Golden light? My God, I had no idea you were such a poet.”

Rolling my eyes, I smirk, but that’s the thing about me. I don’t say what I don’t mean. “It’s true. Flowery words or not.”

Clover comes forward, just a few inches separating us now. “Well, I appreciate it.Truly. Your support means the world to me. I wouldn’t have gone up there and sang if it weren’t for what you said. The ‘light’ is entirely your fault. And a bit of Darby’s, too.”

She smiles at me, she tells meI’mresponsible for helping her find that spark within her, and I just fucking melt.

Apparently, I’m a sap.

“Well…I like seeing you happy.” Again, it’s the truth, and I can’t deny that one either.

“Hmm,” Clover grins—all teases and promises—and she cocks a brow at me, “does that mean I don’t have to shovel shit anymore?”

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