Page 94 of Nanny for the Cowboy

“Yeah, well, it is what it is, right? We can’t change our lives just like that.” I snap my fingers for emphasis.

“No, I suppose we can’t.” Clover’s voice is so low, so quiet.

Don’t go feeling sorry,Ace. You know people. They’re all like this. You were stupid to let yourself believe any different. Clover is leaving you. She never loved you.

As far as intrusive thoughts go, these are the worst, and the sensation of getting kicked in the nuts by my subconscious doubles down.

“I…I’m not sure if I’ll be going to that meeting, though. There’s, umm, you know, there’s a lot of stuff going on around here.”

She’s trying to be gentle, to bekind. But I don’t need that. I don’t want it. Clover is going to go to that meeting because it’s the best move for her career, and that’s her priority.

I knew that from the beginning, and I may have forgotten these past few weeks, but I’m not forgetting now.

“We’ll be fine, Clover. I have my arm back. Nothing is keeping me from handling it like I did before you got here. Don’t delay on our account.”

The look that crosses over her face nearly drives me to my knees to beg for forgiveness. It’s like I’ve slapped her, her mouth falling open in a hurt little O.

“Oh, right. Of course. I suppose you know what’s best for the ranch anyway.” She blinks rapidly, her stare going from the ground to the sky and then to the house. “I, umm, I don’t have anything ready of course, so don’t go changing the locks on me just yet.”

Clover forces out a laugh, but the sound is half-hearted, dead.

It’s bizarre to be on this end, actually. I’ve never dumped anyone, and as much as I wanted to say—wanted to believe—that we weren’t dating, that’s just what I did.

I dumped her…like a sack of potatoes.Just like Leah did to you.

My breath hitches in my chest, and I do my best to hide it. I won’t fall apart. I won’t play it likeI’mthe hurt one because it’s clear I’ve just broken Clover’s heart.

It’s what she was going to do to you, Brooks. You’re just beating her to the punch.

“Just, umm…” It’s my turn to swallow down the rising emotions. “…just let me know.”

“Of course.” Clover nods. “I’ll…I’m going to go inside. It’s a bit too windy out here for me.”

There’s not a stitch of wind, not really. A breeze at best, and my chest squeezes as Clover turns her back and heads inside.

There was nothing good about that. There was nothing pleasant or relieving. I hated every moment, and I hate this moment, too.

Regret and anger and sorrow swirl through me like a storm. I can see the dark clouds on the horizon of my mind, thunder rumbling in the distance.

There’s going to be a lot of damage from this one, ball lightning flaring through the invisible sky. And I’ll be lucky if I wind up with even half the heart I have now.

Because Lord knows most of it is walking away through the screen door right now.

Dammit.

THIRTY-FOUR

Clover

I haven’t said a word to Brooks since yesterday. We saw each other in the kitchen earlier, but aside from a brief glance of the most awkward variety, we haven’t interacted.

And I’m not strong enough right now to deny how badly that hurts me.

You should’ve been honest.

That thought has been dogging me all morning. I know I should have said what really happened, that Kyle threatened me, threatened Darby, but I just couldn't.

I don’t want Brooks to freak out. I want him to believe everything is okay and try to handle this myself.

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