Page 96 of Nanny for the Cowboy

I’m a bit taken aback by Darby’s insight, but I suppose I shouldn’t be. He’s wise beyond those ten years.

“Honey, I don’t know if it’s?—”

“He does! I know he does. Dad doesn't act like this around anyone else. Helikesyou. And I like you, too.”

My heart cracks into a million pieces, and I feel my eyes burn. I walk around the island and wrap my arm around Darby’s shoulder.

“I like you, too, bud—so much.”

He smiles up at me. “He’s just…I don’t think he knows how to like, date. At all. You know, ‘cause my mom was gone so fast. I think he’s scared.”

There he goes again with that understanding. “You know, I think you’re right.”

Everything feels hard and terrifying and utterly not fair. I’m sure Brooks’s reaction really was about the past. He’s told me enough to know that he’s distancing to protect himself.

Dammit, why didn’t I see this earlier?

His ex-fiance left him. Of course, Brooks feels like that’s what I’m doing. That man is terrified to trust anyone, and I can hardly blame him.

I haven’t totally earned his trust. That’s on me as much as it is on him, and I knowingly kept information from Brooks when I shouldn’t have.

God, I have to fix this.

“Hey,” I look down at Darby, offering a more confident smile, “do you think you could help me do something nice for your dad? I think…I think we need to talk this all out. And I think it’ll go better if he sees that I…care.”

Understanding lights in Darby’s eyes, and aside from myself—this kid is the first to know that I’m into Brooks.

He nods excitedly. “Yes! Totally! Whatever you need, Clover. I definitely want to help!”

Laughing, I pat him on the shoulder, putting a finger to my lips. “Okay, okay. But keep it down. I want it to be a surprise.”

Darby giggles, pulling into himself as he nods. “Oh, right. Secret. Got it.”

“Finish your breakfast, kiddo.”

I walk back to the other side of the island, still sipping on my coffee. As much as I know that Kyle is an issue, I know that I have to come clean about it.

Brooks deserves to know, and he deserves to know that I want to stay, that I…care about him.

We could try this. Brooks might know what to do about Kyle, too. We can try this.

The warmth of the coffee feels good again as it slides down my throat, and the knot in my stomach releases some.

I still have to talk with the man about all this bullshit, and that’s going to suck. But I have a plan, and that feels better than just dwelling on my problems.

I’ll give him all the information, and I’ll let Brooks make his own decision. The worst was already about to happen. At least this gives things a shot.

It givesusa shot.

And I have to admit to myself, once and for all, how much I want that.

THIRTY-FIVE

Brooks

Dust clings to my skin as I drag myself inside to take a shower. I’ve thrown myself into my work today, and I’m not going to think about why.

It doesn’t end well.

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