Page 19 of Hide or Die

“No,” I replied, my voice shaking. “I’m really not.”

I was a coward. Broken. But right now, my cowardice translated into an unbearable fear of losing her before it was absolutely unavoidable. If we were both going to die, then we were both going to die. It was the prospect of losing her and being left alone to face the monsters that truly chilled my blood. I wormed my right hand under the blanket and hooked Leo’s panties down to her thighs. She immediately moaned and pushed her ass into the light touch.

“Listen to me, Leona,” Jax said, in that low alpha rumble that pierced straight into the deepest part of an omega’s soul. “You’re doing so well. We’re going to fill you up so good, littleodama. We’ll make all of this go away, and then you can rest for a bit.”

I placed one hand on Leo’s back to steady her and felt around blindly beneath the blanket with the other, following the trail of slick to its source. No sooner had I gotten lined up than Leo reared back, taking two fingers to the hilt with a keening cry. My throat closed up. She was hot and tight, her passage gripping me with the same rippling muscle that would help her squeeze out pups.

“That’s it.” Jax’s encouragement was quiet. The rasp of a zipper reached my ears. “Sorry about this, by the way. It’s the only way to sync our pheromones.”

“No, I know,” I told him. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. My back was turned, but I could hear the sound of slapping flesh—the low, ragged sound of uneven breathing. Jax was going to bring himself off, timing his release to coincide with me attempting to trick Leo’s body into believing she’d been knotted. His scent would change, and with luck that would trigger Leo’s first peak to subside, giving her a respite from the torture of out-of-control hormones rushing around with nowhere to go. Of course, it would also leave Jax with his knot waving in the breeze, which was allegedly a miserable experience for an alpha.

Leo fucked herself shamelessly on my fingers, letting out a series of rhythmic, breathy cries. Her sultry-sweet natural perfume was changing... sharpening. I managed to add a third finger, and finally, a fourth, until that slick, velvety heat was enveloping my hand to the crook of my thumb every time she rocked back.

The sound of Jax’s hand on his dick behind me sped up. His scent was changing, too, and I had to fight the urge to look over my shoulder and watch him. The two scents coated my tongue and tickled the back of my throat, making me feel faintly lightheaded. My own vestigial cock twitched, growing heavy and sensitive.

Just the pheromones, I told myself, squeezing my eyes shut and cursing omega biology for the hundredth time in the last hour.

“Get ready,” Jax said, sounding decidedly strained.

He grunted, and Leo cried out.

“Now,” he said hoarsely. “Do it now.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and curled my fingers into a loose fist, wincing at the way Leo’s body had to stretch to accommodate the movement. Her muscles clenched and pulsed rhythmically, her back going rigid beneath my other hand. The scent in the cell shifted again—honey and orange melding with musk and cypress to form something new. Something thoroughly intoxicating.

“That’s it. Now stay like that until her muscles release you. See if you can ease her down to lie on her side so she can rest easier.” Jax’s tone sounded exhausted, and I was forcibly reminded of his injuries.

Already, Leo was going boneless. With supreme awkwardness, I managed to direct her sprawl so she was lying in front of me with her back to me, my clenched fingers still inside her. This, unfortunately, had the unintended consequence of putting Jax in my line of sight. He was seated against the rocky wall with one leg drawn up and the other stretched out in front of him, his hand clamped around the knot at the base of his very erect dick.

“Dignity is overrated,” he told me, with a wry twist of the lips that couldn’t really be called a smile. “That’s what I always tell myself, anyway.” Lines of strain had settled around the corners of his striking blue eyes.

I tore my gaze away from him in favor of checking on Leo.

“She’s dozing,” I reported. “Her skin’s cooling off; she doesn’t feel as feverish.”

In my peripheral vision, I saw Jax nod.

“Keep the blanket over her,” he said. “In less shit-tastic circumstances than this, she’d have one or more alphas sharing body heat with her while she recovered.”

The picture those words conjured up felt like a knife between the ribs.I’m pretty sure we’d need a bigger nest, Leo had joked in the Bucharest hotel room, the night before everything had fallen apart. I shifted in place, trying not to jostle her. My skin still felt stretched too tight. My cock still throbbed, half-hard and oversensitive.

Jax watched me, and I had to fight not to squirm beneath his frank regard.

“Oh. You’re an omega, too,” he said, sounding thoughtful rather than surprised.

“What?” I yelped, my heart thundering into overdrive.How—?

Jax inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring. “Your pheromone suppressor couldn’t keep up—not surprising with another omega in heat in the same enclosed space. You smell like ginger tea with lemon.”

“No, that’s not—” I began, before cutting myself off and trying to regroup. “I don’t take pheromone suppressors. I don’t have any reason to!”

Leo made a discontented humming noise in her sleep, her body clenching tighter around my hand. I looked between her and the alpha in the room, caught out and entirely unsurewhy.

“No,” Jax said. “I suppose you wouldn’t, in the normal course of things. It’s barely detectable, even now. You don’t have to worry about the betas noticing. They won’t.” His expression grew troubled. “I guess they got you when you were young, huh? I’m so sorry, Kam. They’re monsters. No one should have to go through that.”

Twenty years of unaddressed trauma rose up to lodge itself firmly in my throat. I choked, unable to draw breath.

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