Page 20 of Hide or Die

“Blast. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Jax murmured. “Damned heat-brain. I’m really sorry, Kameron. Just breathe for a minute, okay?”

“It’s fine,” I rasped, once I’d managed to drag air past the blockage in my chest. Even to my own ears, I sounded about as far from fine as it was possible to get.

“It’s not,” Jax said. “And neither are you... but that’s okay.” He was quiet for a moment before continuing. “You’re lucky to have each other. Pack is important.”

I looked down at Leo, her fiery mane of red hair draped in sweat-soaked tangles. “Yes,” I agreed in a tiny voice. “It’s everything.”

We lapsed into silence.

Eventually, I cleared my throat. “That knot must ache like hell,” I observed, forcing my tone into something a bit more normal.

“You aren’t kidding,” he agreed. “Though maybe not quite as much as you’re hand’s going to ache by the time she’s done with you.”

I couldn’t dispute it. I’d already lost feeling in my fingers, and the muscles in my forearm were starting to cramp. More time passed, until finally the strong muscles clamped around my hand began to flutter, and finally eased. I cautiously uncurled my fingers and slid them out of Leo’s body. She shifted restlessly at the loss, but didn’t wake. Relieved, I wiped my hand on a corner of the blanket and shook it out, feeling the tingle of returning blood.

“You should get some rest while you can,” Jax said. “She’ll start climbing toward the next peak in a few hours. I’ll keep watch until then.”

Injured or not, he would be good to his word, I knew. Alphas were hardwired to guard omegas during heat, when they were at their most vulnerable. He’d crash afterward, of course, but until Leo’s heat markers faded, Jax’s body would consume fat and muscle to sustain a multi-day marathon of no sleep and frequent mating.

He was right, too. I should take advantage of what rest I could get. Feeling shaky—both with reaction to the immediate situation and to other, deeper things—I managed to scoot us both around until I was leaning against the wall with Leo’s blanket-wrapped form curled up in my lap. She sighed and nuzzled into me, still smelling of clover honey and orange orchards.

It was so heartbreaking to think of the world depriving itself of the beauty of that scent, forcing her to cover it up to protect herself. I breathed it in deeply, trying to catch a hint of my own perfume intermingled with hers.Ginger tea with lemon, Jax had called it. I wasn’t sure if I could actually smell it, or if it was mere wishful thinking on my part. Whatever the case, the world at large would never scent me. That knowledge should have been a relief, since it meant my perfume wouldn’t give me away.

It wasn’t.

“I’m not really an omega,” I blurted, the words bubbling up from the depths of my buried self-loathing. “They took it all away... ripped it out by the roots. I’m not...anything. Not anymore.”

And after tomorrow, I would probably be dead. I wondered if they’d execute us on camera before sending the video to news outlets around the world. I wondered if anyone would mourn me.

“Kameron Patel. Look at me,” Jax said, his tone turning steely. I did, instincts responding to that small flexing of alpha power. He lifted his hand to touch his forehead, his eyes holding mine. “If you’re an omega here...” His hand moved to rest on his chest, over his heart. “If you’re an omega here... then you’re still an omega. No one can take that from you. Do you hear me?No one.”

My throat closed up again.

“You can be scarred and still be perfect,” he went on, his tone solemn. “You can be injured and still be beautiful. And after seeing what you’ve both accomplished... seeing how you are with each other—you two are without a doubt the most beautiful omegas I’ve ever met.”

My vision blurred as his words sank into me, settling into place. Unable to answer, I hid my face against Leo’s hair and held her tight as my shoulders began to shake.

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