Page 43 of Hide or Die

SIXTEEN

Leona

THE FEAR I felt atthe idea of Kam leaving me rivaled the fear I’d felt when my heat hit me while we were trapped in the terrorist cave. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to think instead of reacting. God... the dregs of these damned hormones could get lostany time now, and that would begreat.

I was being selfish. I knew that. Kam was one hundred percent right about the added danger to us, and just because I couldn’t let it stop me, I had no right to act like he needed to put himself at risk as well. If Flynn had offered Kam the same thing he’d offered me, it probably sounded like a dream come true to him. A pack of alphas to cherish and protect him? A place of safety, away from the influence of the organization that had killed his family, enslaved him, and mutilated him? He’d have to be crazy not to think about accepting.

Opening my eyes, I reached out and grasped his hands again. “Okay. Okay, you’re right. Maybe you should consider this. Idowant you to be safe,odama. I want you to be happy. Just... are you sure Flynn can deliver on what he’s offering? I don’t get the impression Alex is on board with the idea, and we can’t know what Jax would think.”

“It’s two separate issues, Leo,” Kam replied in an exhausted tone. “Getting somewhere safe, and joining our packs together. But you’re not going to do either one of those things. I already knew that. I’d just hoped...” He shook his head as though chasing the thought away. “Never mind.”

“I’m serious,” I said, forcing the words past the growing lump in my throat. “Maybe you should go. Find someplace safe. Go to Jamaica. Stay with my—” I cut myself off abruptly, not sure I wanted to let my parents’ location slip when we were within range of alpha hearing. “Well, there are people there who could help you settle in, anyway. No one would bother you there.”

Now it was his turn to tug his hands free. He scrubbed at his eye sockets with the heels of his palms and kept them there, speaking without looking at me. “I need more time to think about this.”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Okay. I understand. I think we’re going to leave for Bucharest soon. I’m not sure yet what happens after that. We’re at Beckett’s mercy here, and I still have no real idea what his angle is.”

“We need to visit Jax and thank him.” Kam hesitated, before continuing, “Assuming he’s conscious and can understand us, of course.”

Christ. I didn’t need to wait for public exposure as an omega. Everything felt like it was falling down around my ears right this very minute.

“Yes,” I agreed hoarsely. “We sure do.”

Could I do this without Kam? I’d have to, if he accepted the offer of safe haven that Flynn seemed to be extending.

The worst part of it was, I couldn’t say with utter certainty that these alphas were trustworthy. There were too many holes in their story. They’d saved us, yes. They’d behaved with nothing but honor toward us when we were at our most vulnerable. But they also weren’t telling us the whole truth.

Kam wasn’t a fool. He’d have realized all of this, just as I had. The difference between us was that he hadn’t lost the capacity for faith. Faith in people; faith in the future. Despite everything he’d experienced, Kam could still look at someone who’d helped him and trust that they were fundamentally a good person. I couldn’t. I needed proof first.

And right now, I didn’t trust Beckett’s motives for not arresting us.

It was a testament to how much danger we were about to face that if Kam decided to place his faith in Flynn and his pack, I wouldn’t try to stop him. Either way, Beckett had us on a hook if he ever decided to reel us in.

“Do you want to try and rest some more first, or leave now?” I asked, changing the subject. “The others are ready as soon as we give the word.”

“Let’s just go.” Kam straightened with a final rub of his face and rose. “We can sleep in the Range Rover, assuming no one’s going to try to blow us up this time.”

I took a steadying breath and rose as well. “If they do, I suppose it won’t much matter whether we’re asleep or awake when the bomb goes off.”

“True,” he agreed. “You should eat more before we leave, though. I had a poke around the pantry and found something that looks like normal sardines. It’s probably safe.”

And so, we were apparently going to employ the ‘pretend it’s not happening’ defense, when it came to the potential unraveling of our years of friendship. In my current state, I was fine with that.

“Sardines,” I said. “Awesome. Okay, let’s do that, then.”

* * *

Less than an hour later, the four of us were rumbling down a narrow mountain road. My scent had subsided beneath the power of suppression drugs, but Flynn’s definitely hadn’t, and neither had Alex’s. I stewed in the spicy floral mix, wondering with a sharp pang if I would ever smell the subtle scent of Kam’s lemon and ginger again.

Sleep was out of the question as the vehicle rattled down the bumpy, pothole-strewn road. And despite my exhaustion, my brain wasn’t about to let me rest when we reached the relative smoothness of the highway, either.

“Will we be going straight to the medical clinic?” I asked, hoping for some snippet of information that might help me figure out Beckett’s motives.

“Yes,” Alex said. “We need to report in, and that’s almost certainly where Beckett will be.”

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