Page 109 of Knot Playing Fair 2

I crossed the room and flopped on the floor next to him, tugging him down to sit leaning against the beanbag with me instead of on top of it. We snuggled into each other, Luca letting out a sigh of released tension.

“Did Nat drag you in to talk to Byron?” Emiel asked, not making a move to leave. “He said he was gonna, earlier.”

“Byron’s already asleep,” I said. “Fair warning, Luca—Nat’s threatening to drag you into this as well.”

Luca grunted in sleepy protest and nuzzled further into my shoulder.

“You know what you’re going to say to them?” Emiel asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Not a clue,” I told him. “It’s just that... I don’t think I can have what I really want. It’s selfish, and I’m not sure how it would even work, anyway.”

“What do you really want?” Luca murmured against the skin of my neck.

I shivered, gooseflesh rising in the wake of the puff of warm breath.

“Everything.”

“What d’you mean by everything?” Emiel asked.

I sighed—a petulant noise. “I mean... well...everything! I want you and Nat and Byron and Zalen. And you, Luca. I want a big fairytale pack where everyone loves each other, and no one has to feel like an outsider.”

Luca went still, but somewhat surprisingly, he didn’t pull away.

“So, why don’t you tell them that?” Emiel said.

Because I’m not allowed to want things that are complicated, I thought.Because saying it aloud feels like it will doom the idea before we can even try.

“Maybe they don’t want that kind of life,” I said aloud.

Emiel leaned back. “Maybe they do, though. Luca, do you want that?”

Luca was still frozen against me, statue-like. After a long moment of silence, a faint shudder went through his slender body.

“Do you think something like that could ever happen?” he asked, sounding heartbreakingly young.

“Dunno,” Emiel said. “Well, I mean... probably not, if we don’t at least talk about it first.”

As though his words had unlocked something inside me, a new thought threaded through my mind, dangerous and seductive.

You could ask them... and if the others said no, it wouldn’t be a worse outcome than if you’d never asked at all.

After planting that subversive little idea in my head, Emiel excused himself to get some sleep, leaving Luca and me to do the same. I slept so soundly that I didn’t even hear Luca get up and leave for work. Unfortunately, that also meant that Byron was able to sneak out, as well.

“He went to work the day after getting out of the hospital?” I asked in disbelief, cornering a bleary-eyed Nat in the kitchen. “Seriously?”

“Apparently, he’s extremely motivated not to discuss what happened between the three of us.” Nat still looked uncomfortable about the subject, but there was a wry twist of self-deprecating humor to his tone.

I shook my head in disbelief. “I’m trying not to be offended that we apparently rate as being worse to deal with than a half-healed knife wound.”

Nat huffed a rueful laugh before sobering. “Well, regardless, I just want to express how sorry I am that all of this happened the way it did. And to make it clear that if I’d had any idea whatsoever that Byron would become important to you, I never would have come within ten miles of him.”

It was strange how little the idea of Nat and Byron together bothered me now, given how upset I’d been when I first found out.

“I’m not mad,” I said, echoing what I’d told him in the hospital. “And I guess I can see why you both wanted to keep it quiet. It must have seemed like something that would never go anywhere, so why upset me by telling me?”

Nat took a moment to digest that. “It’s true... I don’t think either of us expected to end up as the buddies in a bad action movie. Or to end up living together. Somehow, we seem to be a lot more tangled up with each other than I thought we would be.”

I screwed up my courage in both hands. “I’m kind of sorry I missed your hookups, to be honest. I bet it was some smoking hot sex.”

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