Page 55 of Knot Playing Fair 2

TWENTY-THREE

Luca

HAVING THIS CONVERSATIONout in the open with Mia might not have been my worst nightmare, but it was definitely somewhere in the top five. Topthree, probably.

Did she seriously not see it? Did she not see the way the others looked at her? Hell, did she not see the wayIlooked at her?

But she wasn’t a liar, and she didn’t play games like this. Her expression of utter confusion could only be real. Mia Dimitriadis, Michelin star chef and part-time collector of broken alphas and omegas, had no fucking clue that we’d all fallen into her orbit like planets circling around a sun.

I knew it was cruel to put Emiel on the spot like this, but someone had to tell Mia the truth, straight to her face. And by breaking into my private nest without an invitation, as far as I was concerned, he’d just nominated himself. I glared at the alpha seated against the wall across the room from me, the dim light obscuring the details of his facial expression.

He drew breath, hesitating.

“Well?” I snapped, because ifIhad to feel this shitty, then he could damned well feel shitty right along with me.

“I got no business mating anybody,” he said. “Not ever. No one deserves a front-row seat to the things that live inside my head. Much less anyone I care about.”

I reared back as the words slid between my ribs like a knife. Mia’s hands clutched at my shoulders, keeping me from pulling away completely. Princess meowed as I accidentally jostled her.

“You know exactly what I mean, Luca,” Emiel continued, relentless. “I know you do. But you also need to know that if I wasn’t like I am, I’d mate you both in a heartbeat.”

I choked back the fresh sob that wanted to escape. It wasn’t fair. None of this wasfair. I didn’t want to hear any of this. I didn’t want to feel what I was feeling. I didn’t want to think about mating, or pack bonds, or how impossible it all was. And yet, that seemed to be all Icouldthink about, these days.

Mia looked back and forth between us.

“Wait,” she said, with dawning horror. “You both think you can’t mate because of the psychic bond that forms? Because of what happened to you when you were young?”

I didn’t say that alphas like Emiel could do whatever the hell they wanted. Instead, I turned a bitter gaze on her and grated out the truth.

“No one wants a broken omega. Blaze had me for years.Years, Mia. Keeping his lackeys from biting me while they fucked me might’ve been a power trip for him. But why do you thinkhenever bit me?”

I saw her blanch in the soft glow of the fairy lights overhead.

“Yeah,” I said in response to her unspoken reaction. “Only an idiot would sign himself up for a lifetime of secondhand PTSD. I was good enough to fuck, whether I wanted it or not. I wasn’t good enough to mate.”

I’m still not.

I managed to bite back the final words, knowing they’d just end up upsetting her more. The silence that settled over the room felt heavy and thick.

Mia let her hands fall, straightening away from me. “By that logic, Zalen couldn’t mate again because he’s got the trauma of losing Julie. And I’m pretty sure Byron’s carrying around his own brand of PTSD from getting shot; he’s just better at hiding it.”

“Now she’s getting it,” Emiel mumbled.

She whirled on him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged a shoulder. “Just what you said. We’re a pack of fuck-ups. Not even a pack, really. And no one in their right mind would mateanyof us.”

“Bullshit. It’s different for alphas.” I bit out the words.

“Is it?” Emiel sounded genuinely confused.

“Yes!” I shouted, irrationally incensed.

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Mia said carefully. “But whatever the case, I’m still married, even if Nat and I are separated. Which makes all of this kind of a moot point.”

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